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My brother almost got arrested over STBXH

newbiestepmom25's picture

My brother took me by the house to help me collect a few more of my things thinking STBXH was at work. We herd his car backing into the driveway and my brother told me to keep packing and he will handle things if he tries to start something.

DH: WTF are you doing in my house
Bro: Helping my sis get her things now back up and let her be and we wont have any problems
DH: Oh you think your a big bad country boy I'm not scared of you
Bro: This country boy will give you a country ass whoopin
DH: I'm sorry (mocking accent) I aint understandin you
Bro: Sis hurry up before I pound his face in
Me : Ok lets just go
Bro: no you get your things
DH: (grabs my arm) newbie why are you ding this I'm sorry for everything I love you
ME: Let go of me, let go
DH: I love you baby we can go to counseling and work this out
Bro: let her go (yanks DH away fro me)
DH: Get your hands off me country boy
Bro: That's the best insult you got
DH: Hillbilly trash, can't understand half the shit you say and you look like you ate a cow and your probably jealous cause you wanna f*ck your sister
Bro: Your a sack a sh*t
Me: Alright I'm ready
DH: ( tries grabing my bag from me) I love you.
Bro: let her go
DH: shut up she is my wife
Bro: (yanks DH and punches him)

* punches are thrown left and right and yelling at them to stop and a neighbor hears the commotion and calls the cops.

The cops get there and DH and my brother are both getting held back by neighbors with DH trying to break free to fight some more. At first DH was screaming that my brother started it and he wants to press charges but the neighbors stated they saw him being the aggressor. No one pressed an charges and the cops waited with me while my brother and I got all of my things. My heart is still pounding.

Comments

Flipchip2013's picture

Legally, I don't think you can just go into the house and take stuff. You've moved out. It's no longer your residence.
You need to check with a lawyer to make sure your XH doesn't turn around and file charges on YOU. He can also file no trespass charges on your brother. Don't put him in that position again. According to your story, your brother threw the first punch.

There are so many things wrong with this situation. :/

You and XH are both conducting yourselves outside of the law and trying to get vigilante justice. If you want something in the house, request it in your divorce filing. He thinks "what's yours is ours" and takes money from your account. You want stuff that you didn't take when you moved out, so you just go in and take it. This situation will continue to escalate out of hand if you don't get control of it. Now.

Sunflower1's picture

Not true at all. It is legally her home. Newbie as everyone has said call the police first next time. Keep your chin up!

Flipchip2013's picture

Check the law ladies. I know that in TWO states, that isn't true. If you move out of the residence, you CANNOT legally go back in whenever you feel like it.

Maybe in OP's state, it's ok. But just being on the title/loan isn't enough for access in my state.

Besides... how many times do women tell OTHER WOMEN on here to just change the locks, he has no right to be there anymore? This is no different.

And OP had to know a fight was coming. She brought her brother for re-inforcement. If she KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that XH wouldn't be there, she probably would have gone alone. It looks like she knew it was a possibility and was prepared for a fight.

She's very lucky her brother didn't get charged. He threw the first punch. She's shouldn't put her brother in that situation.
JMO

Sunflower1's picture

I have checked the law and with an attorney when I went through my divorce. Also your comparison with lock change is only after we ask whose name the home is in.

Flipchip2013's picture

Not always. Besides, many states are community property, so "whose name it's in" doesn't matter. That's your legal residence. You can't just lock someone out because you are angry with them.

In your state, it may be legal. I told OP to check into it because it might not be. It isn't in my state, and it isn't in at least one other state.

Sunflower1's picture

Nice flip flop. So first you chastise her for returning to her home saying it is "likely" illegal and now say she can't throw him out because of the laws of two states? Care to post the link for those two statutes?

Journey1982's picture

You have no basis for your comment. Otherwise you would identify the 2 states you are referring to.

Sunflower1's picture

Also assault is threatening to do harm. Someone doesn't even have to touch another person for an assult charge, which is what newbies STBX did. Battery charges could have been pressed against her brother of course but it looks like the police had some commen sense in the matter.

Flipchip2013's picture

I never said it was assault. I know the difference between assault and battery. Smile

Either way you cut it, the brother was in the x's house and threw the first punch. He's lucky he didn't get charged.

(I don't see "common sense" by the officers here. I see "turn a blind eye" which is NOT what the law is for.) Considering OP has had the X arrested and has filed additional charges against him, she's super lucky he didn't retaliate by sending brother to jail.

Flipchip2013's picture

I'm not getting into a legal debate with you.

OP already moved out. Got her stuff, the baby stuff, and moved out.

She may have decided she wanted MORE stuff, but she moved out.

Sunflower1's picture

Of course you don't care to debate. Frankly, some of your posts contain more logical fallacies than a debate in election year.

misSTEP's picture

LOL!

Journey1982's picture

Legally the house is hers as much as it is his and she can return to the home until such time she is court ordered not to. What 2 states doesn't allow someone who owns their home not to return to it?

Also, you can change the locks if you want to, but its not legal. My lawyer told me I could change the lock if I wanted to, but if my XH (prior to the divorce) wanted back in, I had to give him a key.

And I disagree that she took her brother with her just to start a fight. She could have thought her husband was working and not know that he took the day off or a neighbor/friend could have seen her at the house and called her husband and he came home.

I'm glad she had her brother there to protect her. Who knows what he would have done to her if no one was there to protect her. She should NEVER go alone.

Justme54's picture

So sorry. I am glad you got your things and your brother did not get arrested. Thank God for the neighbor.

ctnmom's picture

call the cops and have them escort you if you have to go back there, dear. I don't like that DH put his hands on you, even if he didn't hurt you.

misSTEP's picture

Your STBX has some SERIOUS balls! He does the stuff he does that caused you to leave in the first place, then does the stuff that he did afterwards (drained your account and called you horrible names), treats your family like shit, and STILL thinks that he can talk you into coming back to his sorry ass??