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Let the victim mentality begin!

Rags's picture

Let the victim mentality begin!

BIL1 called my DW last night.

The rotating shit seat musical chairs fest has begun..... again.  BIL1 is pissed that BIL2, his bride of a year and their 11mo old daughter are moving in with my MIL.   I find this insanely humorous since BIL1 is the one who lived in his IL's basement with his wife and their infant daughter for several years. smh   When I pointed this out to my wife as she was telling me about the 1.5 hour conversation she had with BIL1 she responded with "yeah but......"  Yeah but is always the precursor to some justification for someone taking exception to someone else doing something that the first person did first.  Somehow it is different when one of my ILs does something then another of them does that same thing sometime later.

My wife, though a brilliant and scary smart graduate degreed professional, gets sucked into her gene pool drama and usually starts her opinion in alignment with whoever calls her to set up support for their perspective.  Then over time as I ask questions and try to focus her on the facts she resets back to rationality and can then bare idiot ass with the best of them.

Beyond BIL2 and his family moving in with my MIL temporarily my thief POS embezzling dirtbag of a SIL has once again scammed money out of Aunt Money Bags.  She and her DH owe the aunt $35K+ and the aunt swore up and down she was done getting ripped off by them.   SIL's laundry hookups had a leak that caused water damage and some minor mold damage to her home.  Because she is such a POS crook and has been on the ragged edge of foreclosure ~7x over the past 12 years the mortgage company insisted that the insurance check be sent to them and they would issue draws to a contractor as the repairs progressed.  SIL and her DH of course want the money.  Nope, the mortgage company is not as stupid as my SIL thinks they are.  Since SIL and her DH are doing the work themselves they could not draw from the settlement in escrow at the mortgage company.. So they conned the Aunt out of the money and "promised" to pay her back when they submitted receipts to the mortgage company for the work.

Like that is ever going to happen.

And...... my FIL left his list of who gets what of his personal effects.  He left his rifles to the boys.  (BIL1 & BIL2).  Apparently SIL had "borrowed" one of the rifles before FIL passed away and never returned it.   As is her bullshit answer regarding anything she stole from FIL before he passed "Oh, he said I didn't have to give it back".  My wife faxed BIL1 a copy of the letter from FIL indicating who gets what and he is going to SIL's house to get the rifle.  That is going to cause all kinds of fun repercussions.    I can't wait!

Diablo

On the eviction, house repair, foreclosure issues, BIL1 is all ranting that no one helped them when they got foreclosed or helped them with bills, etc, etc, ..... Of course no mention of living in his ILs basement for years.

BIL1 and his bovine bride had their first home foreclosed, BIL2 had his first home foreclosed. My ILs had their first home foreclosed.  But for some reason BIL1's foreclosure was somehow better than everyone else's foreclosures.  smh

Apparently there is back story to BIL2 getting evicted. BIL2's story is that the owner of the home sold it and gave them 30 days to vacate.  The small town grapevine is that the owner raised the rent which pissed BIL2 and his wife off and they quit making their rent payments all together two months ago.  I really don't GAF what reality is for any of them. I am just sick of the drama, victim, my shit does stink as bad as your shit does bullshit.

This of course has me in the dog house with my bride because I am doing the pesky "pointing out the facts" thing.

So this AM while we were getting ready for work she commented "I miss my family but it is definitely a good thing that I left when I was 18".  In my head my response was "Has there ever really been any doubt that that was the best option".  Evidently I said that out loud.

"Well, you don't have to be snarky about it!"

Apparently breaking one's leg reduces one's tolerance for bullshit and hard wires the thought to mouth connection.

Bad Rags, bad.

 

Comments

Major Blunder's picture

This of course has me in the dog house with my bride because I am doing the pesky "pointing out the facts" thing.

Bad Rags, bad.

 

LMAO, sorry buddy had to laugh since I have never seen or read this from you before, Rags in the Dog house didn't think it could happen.  That's particularly not fair being that you have a bum leg right now, those things are hard to crawl in and out of.

StepUltimate's picture

Thanks for the laugh. J

thinkthrice's picture

that DW converse in this manner:

BIL1:  Yeah that piker BIL2 is actually moving in his family with IL!

DW:  I can't imagine!  How did YOU deal with it when YOU moved YOUR family in with IL?

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I really enjoyed reading this, Rags. Reminds me of why I disengaged from my DH's family, and how peaceful life is now.

I used behave just like your bride, allowing myself to get sucked into the cyclone of drama that is my in laws. Most of the time DH would do as you do, but there were plenty of times we both jumped when someone pulled the big red handle. Backsliding is all part of the process, I suppose.

Good thing your bride didnt kick one of your crutches out from under you! But I bet she'll have recalibrated by the time you sit down to dinner tonight. She knows you spoke truth.

CLove's picture

Cuts both ways! You point out truth, they feel cut, they grab sword from you and stick you because they are just mad you saw the truth and pointed it out.

Oh yes, i know this one really well. When i pointed out the truth that ToxicTroll was using their daughter Munchkin SD12 to do her borrowing, when he had already told her in no uncertain terms "no" when she keeps asking to borrow things from our household, he blew a gasket. Said I need therapy. Got really stressed out. They have had our Rug Doctor for 2 1/2 days now. I am going to sit back and watch him go through the pain in the butt task of getting our stuff back. And see what condition it comes back in. 

ndc's picture

And the moral of the story is:  With hard work, determination and choosing the right spouse, one can overcome suspect genetics and upbringing.  Your wife is so lucky she left at age 18.

Rags's picture

I try to  convince her that there was no luck involved. She is just a mutant that does not live the same life or have the same issues that her family does and made excellent decisions with the information she had available at the time.  Just has she has consistently since then.

 

Harry's picture

Popcorn.  And just watch the show.  Seams like no one hears a thing you are saying  or really cares . So just watch it all implode on its self 

Rags's picture

Other than my bride, you are pretty much right.  My bride gets it, she just defaults to engaging with whoever calls her with the complaint of the month about someone else in the IL clan.  IT takes her time to work through the emotive drama and land back on the facts and history of the entire epic drama.

Also interesting is that they all "care" but rather than care about each other they care only about positioning themselves as better than the other person who is making the same stupid decision some time later than the one calling with the drama made it.

strugglingSM's picture

My DH's family is not as dysfunctional as your in-laws, but they do have plenty of dysfunction that usually involves plenty of manipulation to get DH to do things he shouldn't. 

I too end up in the dog house for pointing things out to DH...who told me how perfect and wonderful his family was when we met.