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Rags's picture

Just got back from our TG trip to Austria & Germany.  We had a great time.  The Alps were beautiful, we enjoyed the week with our friends (3 other couples) and we had a nice visit with the kid.  Every time we spend time with him I am more impressed by the man that he is.  

He is struggling with a few things but... over all he really is a man of character who does well personally and professionally. His mom and I I are proud of him.  We also get a bonus visit with him week after next.   He was notified he is going on TDY for training in Colorado from the 9th -18th so we will visit SS, our niece and her DF there the weekend of the 14th.

He had to work the Wed before TG and did not plan well on how to join us in Austria.  After his usual 03:30 AM gym session then a full day of work he ended up deciding not to risk a 6 hour drive through the Alps and did not leave until Thurs AM and much later than he originally planned so rather than arriving at the planned 10AM he arrived at 14:00.  That was our down day while on this trip so he did not miss anything.  We had a great TG dinner with a 6 course food and wine paring at one of the two nice restaurants in the village we were in (Schladming).   On Fri we took the train to Salzburg and toured the city including the Mozart birth house museum, the Christmas market and capped it off with the Sound of Music tour.  Not something I really expected to enjoy but it turned out to be great. Really enjoyable.

We drove to Munich on Saturday and toured the City.  SS left after dinner Sat evening to drive back to his apartment in Kaiserslautern.  Our flight bake to the US was delayed on Sunday.  We were supposed to leave at 11AM and did not end up leaving until 17:00

Which gets me to the title of this blog.  On the plane I watched several movies including THE AFTERMATH.  The story is about a British woman who joins her husband in Hamburg after the end of WWII where he is the Sr. British Officer assigned as the Military Governor of Hamburg responsible for the clean up and rebuilding of the city.

Long story short.  The Brits live in the home of an affluent German widower and his troubled teen daughter (Wife was killed in the fire bombing of Hamburg during the war).  The main character and her husband are struggling to reconnect after long separation during the war and the loss of their 10yo son who was killed in the blitz on London.

Predictably the wife and the German widower hook up in a passionate affair, drama, drama, drama, ........ 

I found myself having a visceral reaction to her betrayal of her husband and her choices.  I recognized the trauma all of these people suffered and they all needed each other to recover from that trauma but....  They all just pissed me off.  She was an adulterous whore, the German widower played on her vulnerabilities, the British Col. chose his duty over his marriage and his wife.

On some level they all pissed me off.  But... the ending calmed me a bit.

What is it with people justifying characterless behavior?  All of these people had a choice and they were all deficient in character.

It is not Rocket Science.  If a person is married, keep it at home for F sake. If a married person wants to bump uglies with someone not their spouse, get a divorce.  Respect the ring people.  If someone is wearing a wedding ring, leave them alone.  I don't give a flying F about the why. We just keep it in our pants other than with our spouse. If all in the situation are single... go for it and have fun.

Sure, appreciate beauty and attractive people. After all we are all human.  Ii appreciate attractive people.  But if either they or we are pair bonded, appreciate but let it end there.  Do not betray either their or our own commitments.





BethAnne's picture

I saw that movie on a plane recently too! I found the affair unbelievable. I am not sure how she went from being repelled by anything German to having an affair with a German man in a month or so (the timeline in the movie was unspecific). 

Producers seem reluctant to make movies without some sort of love interest in them which is a shame as this film had some interesting themes that would have been good if they had been explored further without that distraction. 

The other film I saw recently that was also a ww2 movie set in Germany was JoJo Rabit. It is very good, but awkward to watch as it is part comedy that makes you laugh at things that seem very wrong to laugh at. Worth watching if you get a chance. 

Aniki's picture

Ish. I will NEVER understand the glorification of adultry. I cannot tell you how many times people have told me I MUST watch the wonderful moive, The Bridges of Madison County, only to be baffled by my adamant refusal. Until I tell them that I have absolutely no desire to watch something that justifies adultry. Nope. Unhappy in marriage? Fix it or get out. Having an affair is not the solution. No offense intended for those who believe that adultery IS a solution to fix their marriage. There is no gray area for me in this. 

Rags's picture

I did watch that movie when it came out and found nothing beautiful about it.  The critics were all of the opinion that it was a beautiful movie.

CLove's picture

Movies like fatal attaction, the affair, unfaithful, that glorify adultery seem to be so fascinating.

Cheating is a sore spot with my DH - his ex Toxic Troll went online looking for male attention and she got a lot of it. He caught her in communications with all these dudes, who would send her nudes. She lied and said it wasnt physical and then my dear dear dear h created an online profile after first kicking her out of the house. She fell for his online profile, and when he showed up for a date, he told her "games up we are DONE".

Kinda dramatic and "lifetime for women", but if your marriage is on the line and you have kids together, I guess you need to know if the cheater is telling you the truth and wants to work on things, if anything is left to salvage.

Cheating sucks, and movies that glorify cheating suck.

Good news is that if she hadnt done that, he would still be stuck with her toxic, alcoholic a$$. So hes actually glad that she cheated.

CLove's picture

Hes an asian with a nice head of hair on him (not a single gray!) and apparently her "type" has been white bald dudes.

His profile photo he stole was a white bald dude.

And DH revealed that she was VERY sexually agressive - meaning he didnt have to try hard. And she told him to bring a box or two of condoms, because they were going to use ALL of them (come hither!).


Letti.R's picture

I have no time or respect for adulterous wh%res (of either sex).
Sickening how there can be any justification for it.

Crspyew's picture

And I found Salzburg to be beautiful.  We also did the Sound of Music tour --a singing tour at that and loved it.

i am not excusing adultery but we humans are frail and life is hard.  I think there is difference between someone who, in a moment of weakness breaks a vow than some one who aggressively, willfully goes looking for encounters.  I believe in my vows and stick to them but I do not know the details or aagreements on someone else's marriage.  I think if we are going to be ok with people marrying many multiple times we've already diminished the meaning of marriage vows.

Rags's picture

A moment of weakness is still proof of lack of character and is not forgivable IMHO. If it leads to adultery.

Ispofacto's picture

Our nextdoor neighbors are young pot smoking hippies.  The husband is cheating on the wife.  It has been going on for over a year.  At first we weren't sure if they were swingers, but labor day weekend clarrified that.  The mistress showed up Sunday night with an overnight bag, while the wife and kids were visiting the grandparents.  Monday morning the wife came home early while the mistress and husband were drinking beer in the backyard, and the mistress went flying out the front door while the wife was pulling into the garage.  Mistress ran into our backyard, so DH went out there to burn some trash in our fire pit.  Mistress then went running between the houses and down the street into her car.  A few minutes later the husband decided he needed to go for a walk, went down a block, and got into her car.

The neighbor on the other side of us is a good friend and he was outside the whole time this was all happening.  His wife was yelling "OH COME ON!" at the mistress.

When we all first found out about the affair, we were hoping he'd stop on his own.  His wife is a gorgeous lady, and they have two beautiful young children, 8 and 4.  We figured the longer they stayed married, the better for their kids.  But this situation is taking a toll on everyone.  Like the friend-neighbor said, he's disrespecting his wife, and everyone else involved too.

We have to tell her, but we want to do it anonymously.  The husband is a bit of a nut.  He drinks his own pee and believes his twenty year old house is haunted by ghosts.  After the labor day incident, he made it a point to walk over to the end of friend-neighbor's driveway and stand there glaring at him, "What's up?"  That's creepy.

The only way we can tell her without him intercepting it is through her work email, and we're going to wait until after xmas.  I'm sorry we waited so long, she's a teacher so May would have been a better time to tell her.  We tried to mind our own business, but it is wearing on us.

If they divorce I don't know who will end up with the house, if either.  The husband is a renouned artist but he could easily quit working.  He also recently started doing realty work, but maybe that just gives him acess to all kinds of empty bedrooms, ick.

Friend-neighbors's wife refers to the mistress as The Tramp.  IMO, the situation is 95% the husband's fault.  He's the one in the relationship, he's the one breaking his promise.  And it's not romantic at all, it's trashy.



Booboobear's picture

Take photos the next time you see proof, then go over to the wifes house when his car is gone, and swipe and swipe photos of your holiday unitl you accidentally get to the one with the running adulter, and then..... "WHOOops!  I was taking a picture of your house color to colormatch for ours, who is that? and what is she doing?"

somethingwicked's picture

Your TG vacation sounds idyllic! What a wonderful adventure and I enjoyed reading  your written account. 

Glad you all could experience and enjoy this unique family time  .


And thanks for the movie spoilers,Rags.




Curious Georgetta's picture

from Vienna to Salzburg is very pleasant and relaxing. We have taken it several times. I love the old world charm of Vienna. I did not enjoy Munich as much.  Although, I only spent 5 days in Munich and may be that was not enough time to  get to know the city. 

I think that anyone who is capable of putting what they want above all else is capable of  cheating.

If you can say in any given time that my desires, my needs, my pleasure, my satisfaction,  matter more than anything else in this moment and time then you can and will cheat.

I do not think that it is a lack of character but more a matter of prioritizing yourself and your personal gratification as the most important thing in your life. Ultimately, it is just a me first attitude and a willingness to endure and experience what the outcomes of your actions will be.

People are different and are motivated by many different drivers. Cheaters can have many wonderful characteristics.   and that me first attitude is not the only manifestation of their personalities.


Rags's picture

Thanks everyone.  It was a great trip.

The weekend with our son, our niece and her fiance was great as well.  All are  young adults of note (SS - 27, Niece 25 and her fiance - 29.).

We also spend Saturday evening with a friend from our time in Qatar who lives in the Denver area. He is a young guy that I hired and mentored while in Qatar.  He married in Dec of 2018 and he and his wife just had their daughter a month before we visited Colorado. They moved into their home two weeks before their daughter was born.

She has a 10yo son from a prior marriage.  I hope they can avoid so much of the drama that may in blended family marriages experience.