Okay, I really try to keep a level head, I do. He was the one who told me to never let that...rhymes with "bundt," into the house. Apparently, that only holds when someone other him is making the decisions!!!!
I had always thought, that if it were me, I'd want to know what kind of situation my kids were living in when they weren't in my care. I thought I should give her the opportunity to see for herself that the house is safe, sanitary, and not filled with dungeons where the kids are shackled when not being forced to perform manual labor. HE's the one that nixed that idea; for two years he's filled my head with stories of the horror that is his ex-wife.
Apparently, while I was at the office, BM and sd12 came by the house to pick up something left behind, and sd12 wanted to show BM her room. DF let them in and gave the tour! Please keep in mind, this is MY house; I own it, and bought it after I divorced my first husband (three years before I met DF). The house isn't ours, it's MINE. And I'd always thought I should invite her in, once, to see that the kids had a good place here and weren't being forced to sleep in the coal bin. So why am I so pissed off that he let her in to the house? Because I HAD NO SAY IN IT. I hate the idea that that @^nt was in my modest 3 br/1ba home, congratulating herself on landing a man that gives her custom imported Mercedes and ensures she never has to worry about making the mortgage payment.
When did I lose my self-respect, and become so stinking petty? I really don't like myself this way. I keep trying to remember that I earned where I am in life (good career, nice home, low debt, on my way to a good retirement), but I can't help it. I feel a stab of envy that this entitled piece of crap will always be better off than I am, with less effort, and will always be looking down on my accomplishments because her daddy owned a business and her mommy is willing to employ her in it even though she doesn't even have a GED.
How small and crappy a person do I have to be to not be able to get past this?