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ss16 and yuck and possible move in.

purpledaisies's picture

Yuck called dh yesterday crying that ss16 is so nasty and disrepectful. Her words were 'get ss16 the fuck out of my house'. Apparently ss16 told yuck she had no right to come in his room to do anything and he is sick and tired of her and he hates her. All shr did was get his dirty clothes to wash them. Which he should be doing himself but a degrees.

Anyway she told ss16 that he going to live with his dad. Ss16 told yuck that if she did that he would call dhs on her and she would go to jail. For what is what i want to knpw. I mean she is nuts but never broke any laws and she is a good mom when it comes to feeding them and clean house and they are clean and have clean clothes and stuff. And i know she doesnt hit them.

Anyway dh told yuck to calm down for tonight and after his biopsy he would call her.

He called her and she said she wanted to talk to ss16 first b/c dh told yuck that if he came and got him he would not keep the car her aunt is letting him drive and he will quit his job and e in school where we live. I know ss16 wont like any of that. But if this happens again something has to give.

However this is yucks fault for makimg ss16 an adult instead of a child. She even said she dont want to take anything away or anything as he will hate her.

Sounds like he already does anyway might as well parent instead of not and get the i hate you for that instead of just letting him do whatever. She even said she isnt going to do anything about hom not going to school.


godess-clueless's picture

Mom sounds like she is in a perfect position to teach the son some of life's valuable lessons. Now is the time for her to grab the reins and take charge of the situation. Instead of dad undermining the opportunity to teach some life lessons about respectful behavior towards others, he will be teaching the son that when he causes enough problems in one place he can just leave and move on elsewhere.

Doubtful that this kid just woke up one morning and started acting this way. More likely he has been a work in progress over an extended period of time. Mom complains now, but where was some action on her part to nip it in the bud when it first started. The kid is being a jerk and he will be bringing this same attitude with him if he moves into your home. You will get to be the target instead of his mom.

The option to move will make mom's life easier. She won't have to deal with his attitude. You will. Dad might do better to sit down with the kid and mom. Both lay out the rules, expectations and conseqences. Then they follow through with what they say. If mom is worried about the boy hating her for taking away "privledges" then she needs to open her eyes. He is already hateful acting.

whatwasithinkin's picture

This says it all

"However this is yucks fault for makimg ss16 an adult instead of a child"

Has Yuck met my husband?

purpledaisies's picture

Ss16 doeant want to move in with us. Mainly b/c he knows he will have to quit his jpb and have tqken as we already told him if he lived here what would happen and why. He knows he can do whatever he wants with bm.

I agree she needs to be the one to stop this as she created it. I dont want him here at all. But i can tell you that dh will back up and if he gets nasty with me dh will be harsh on him. Ss16 knows this too which is another reason ss16 doesmt want to move in with us.

Thank you all for your input and no i dont want him here but if it happens it happens. But he will yurn 17 tomorrow.

hismineandours's picture

Brings back flashbacks of when bm called dh when ss was 13 and told him she would like to terminate her rights to him for him to come get him. Dh did go and get him, but he lasted a weekend in our house, before he went to stay at mil's where he is allowed and encouraged to be a immoral, valueless loser. It was too late for us to save him.

My guess is that if you did take the kid on you arent going to be able to turn him around in 2 years-it would just be torture for your family.

purpledaisies's picture

Hmo am leaning that way of thinking. I talked to him for about 5 mibs the other day and all he gas planned is to go to a votech abd be done. He doesnt even know what he wants to be.

But what can i really do? ? Rrally nothing he us set in his ways thanks to yuck. Although i did tell him that he wont be able to go to a votch if he doesnt graduate.