OT- One Year
It's officially been a year since I left my ex. He's had a girlfriend since the day after we signed papers. WHo the one time I talked to the girls they told me they hated and her kid is a bully to them, which I feel awful for them, but I've accepted I can't fix it. I guess I'm just reflecting.
Leaving him was literally the healthiest thing I could have done for myself. I really don't get to see the girls anymore. Which has been awful, but I do get to actually be me more often. I can dress how I'd like without being shamed by him, I can actually decorate my home, my schedule is no longer dictated by him and I actually have friends again. Just a few of them, and I still have to spend some time alone becuase I get pretty anxious when I'm out for too long, but it's progress.
I'm starting to CASUALLY date again. I've been on a few dates, and had some guys use some AWFUL pick-up lines on me. But it's been nice to get out and be social, even if I'm not ready for any kind of serious relationship right now.
I socialize on my video games and have a consistent gaming group to play with when I'm online.
A downside is the ex still tries to contact periodically through stupid means, but no longer daily, there's more of a gap between now. SO that's slowing little by little.
It's been a super hard year, and my depression and anxiety and trust issues are something awful, awful enough my therapist is sending me to a psychiatrist next year to see about getting on some medication to help me in the mean time. But I also have a little bit of hope for now that things are going to somehow improve now.
Just a reflection :) Things are very different now and I have a long way to go. But for anyone truly unhappy, just remember you're not stuck.
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Comments
Hey PA this is a great update
Hey PA this is a great update. Congratulations on how far you have come! I know it's heartbreaking about the girls and you did so much for them, maybe hopefully they will remember that bright spot and grow up to be better. I am rooting for you and all the positive things to come in your future.
PA, I am ECSTATICALLY happy
PA, I am ECSTATICALLY happy for you!!! You went through hell with that jerkwad and I'm overjoyed that you escaped and moving onward and upward.
Take it from someone knows - it takes TIME to rebuild after a traumatic experience. Especially when someone who was supposed to love and cherish you did the complete opposite. But you will come out shining like the bright light you are. XOXO
Pssssst... those cheezy pickup lines are laughable. If someone asks what your sign is, feel free to say, "It's STOP!!!"
Idea!
Aniki, I can see a great OT-Cheeziest Pick-Up Lines blog in the near future! Here's one I'll never forget from many moons ago:
"If I told you you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
So great you are feeling
So great you are feeling better about yourself and thriving. You are LIVING...
It's hard to leave toxic situations.. abusers try to make you think that they are the only one that could possibly care about such a "damaged" person... but that is just not true.. they are the damaged ones.
I would be blocking that EX.. or just have those messages automatically forward to the new GF's cell number.. heheheh
Lots of progress in the last
Lots of progress in the last year PA - keep it up!
Wonderful Update!
Im so happy for you - what a sucess story you are writing for yourself!
Take your time...dating should be fun, not a marathon.
Care to share the cheezy?
Keep up the healing and being patient with yourself..
Proud of you for taking care of yourself after Narc abuse...I escapted 6 months ago and life is better. Stay wonderful and continue building happiness!
Proud of you PAI
Reading your update late, but wanted to jump in and echo what others above expressed about being proud of you. It is gratifying to read your diligence and progress, especially when many other ST bloggers disappear into the interwebz and we can only pray, but not know, that they are okay or getting help.
Thank you for both doing the work AND for sharing your journey here. It is very encouraging, and inspirational.