First Post - Excommunication
I have one bio kid with my husband who is 2yrs old and two step daughters who are 19 and 22. The oldest SD likes me, the other one has never been warm or kind to me from day one (deleted me from her social media, Bc she didn't like seeing her dad with me, doesn't say thank you when I get her a gift, eye rolling, not social, winces when I go to hug her, just acts like I'm beneath her or something). I'm naturally a really warm, loving person, I did have a reservation about dating someone with kids but I thought they were older so they wouldn't be a problem. Well thankfully they lived with their mom in another state. I am pretty sure the ex wife has narcissistic personality disorder, the angsty younger daughter is the golden child and the older one is the scapegoat. I feel kinda bad for them because it's been made apparent that their mother is an extremely selfish person and I see them as products of their upbringing. My husband was in the military so the skids have a relationship with him but are very close to their mother who was there more often when he deployed and trained. They all got divorced when his kids were like 10ish -and I came into their lives about when they were 14 and 18. I've been married for 5 years and it's just come to a point where I feel I just don't ever want to deal with them again. The oldest SD even though she likes me, I really don't like her personality, she is extremely immature and all of them are very inconsiderate and they are very much takers. It always feels like "well what can you do for me" when I am with them. It's not that any of them are on drugs or crazy and I don't have to see them often at this point but when we do have to mesh up it's so stressful and my husband and I will argue. Sometimes he is capable of understanding where I'm coming from but I feel most times he is going to defend his kids behavior and it's happened enough that it's left me a bit resentful to him mainly and just having to interact with them. When I got pregnant the 19 yr old was like we should name your baby "idiot" and a bunch of other really immature names. My husband talked to her about it later but she kept showing a lot of apathy and was kinda bitchy the whole time. I felt like I really tried to be cool with his kids in the beginning so I didn't get where that was coming from but she was 17 so I gave her some room to grow up. I would buy them gifts, reach out to them every once in a while, pay for them to go on trips, but it just seems like the kindness wasn't returned, moreover it would bother me when my husband wouldnt empathize with my side of things. What really triggered me wanting to just be done with them is how they treated my daughter. They act like she doesn't exist but just hit us up when they want things. I'm not trying to go into details of the stories just trying to explain the feelings I have. I am just tired of it all, and I guess I just want to divorce them kids lol. Anyways, I'm just over these feelings and the stress of it all, I want them to live great lives but i feel guilty for not caring to pursue anything with them anymore. I don't hate them, but I feel like my life would be so much more happier without them in it at this point. I know some people have it way worse and I'm not really going into every story on here but just understand my patience has run dry for me and I just want a life free of toxic energy I have the ability to rid myself of. They are both somewhat grown and out in the world but i just kinda want to change my number and never hear from them again because I don't want to give them the opportunity to drain me, nor do I want to create more opportunities to be irritated with my husband. Is it okay to just let the relationship whither away with young adult step children for your own mental health?