Do you ever wonder?
So I really think being a stepparent has given me a completely different point of view.
For Example:
DH has a friend from the military, who split with his ex like a year ago. No biggie, right? She seems nice enough. EXCEPT.
DH's friend and said ex (who I've talked to a few times) have a three year old daughter. He's still active duty, she got custody, strung lies in court, really pushed him out, Dh said he's tried to contact, but BM won't let him have contact, so he's kind of just given up, he's just an ATM. Which is beyond sad as it is. Really nice guy. Idk what happened to kill their marriage, none of my business.
So like a month after the divorce, she suddenly ends up with new guy, has the kid calling him daddyy, AND when they got engaged, she had the kiddo holding a sign that says "mommy and daddy are getting married." I haven't met the now fiance, but he looks uncomfortable in all the pictures, and she REALLY lays on thick that he's "the dad" all over social media. I have yet to see a picture where he doesn't look uncomfortable.
(Disclaimer, I have ZERO issue with the KIDS choosing to call the stepparent mom or dad, as long as it was chosen, isn't forced, AND lots of times there are other factors involved, however I DO have an issue with the BM/BD cutting the other parent out of the life and then getting a bf/gf and immeadiately pushing for the kid, who is three or four, to be calling the newest guy daddy... AND laying it on thick all over, while refusing visits and contact with BD/BM)
I got onto Fakebook a few days ago, and now she's announcing she's like 4 months pregnant.
This all has me wondering... Is he being forced into the situation, and the pregnancy coincides with the date they got engaged... Is she lowkey one of THOSE BMs? Obviously I couldn't voice this to anyone else, they'd think I was judging. lol Which maybe I am, But the whole stephe!! life really makes the brain wonder about some of these things.
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This fiancee of hers really
This fiancee of hers really needs to look at the big picture here. If BM is able to keep her child away from the BF what makes him think he'd be any different should they divorce? I would never want to have a child with a manipulative and shady person like that but here he is in the thick of it. Now he has a small child calling him "daddy" and he's not voicing his opinion that this is not ok....
Her fiancee has no idea what he's in for and I truly feel for your H's friend who has to deal with such a conniving BM.
I feel for him too. I stay
I feel for him too. I stay out of it obviously... But he's a good guy, who probably feels he's lost the kiddo.
And the fiance does need to look at that. But he probably is in the "this is my life now" stage.
I'm pretty sure new Fiance is
I'm pretty sure new Fiance is completely clueless. He only hears her side which is probably a complete lie, that real dad has chosen to be absent.
One time I talked to my SS's stepdad and he was going off about his crazy ex-wife and how she makes his life crazy with custody issues with their kids. And I joked that I knew exactly what he was talking about. Hello! The crazy ex-wife in my life is YOUR current wife. Duh! He just laughed and didn't seem to even think his wife was crazy. Of course not to you.
I'm sure she has spun a tale
I'm sure she has spun a tale for her new SO that her EX is a deadbeat who abandoned them.. and doesn't ever try to see his child... so she realllly wants a man who will be a father to her child.
I don't think she is low
I don't think she is low-keying any of this. That's straight from Chapter 2 (maybe 3) of the GUBM Playbook.
BM did similar to DH, except she had new Daddy there before she and DH even divorced. Luckily for DH, BM is stupid in addition to crazy, so she picked a royal a-hole to play Replacement Dad. Between that and her instability, and a mix of DH addressing lies when appropriate, BM didn't PAS the boys in spite of her efforts.
If she seems "nice enough", she'll fool enough people. I feel bad for BF and FH. Both are in for a rough ride with this one.
I'm willing to bet she was
I'm willing to bet she was cheating on her now-ex - likely with the new sucker, er, fiance. And I also believe she is a GUBM who is doing her best to force out the bio-dad in favor of her new sucker, er, fiance. Getting knocked up is such an old maneuver.
Usually they are able to
Usually they are able to convince the new man that the father is abusive, deadbeat, doesn't care about the child, whatever. They don't show the new man all the ways in which they keep the father from being involved, but instead play the victim about being a poor single mother.
My DH fell for it when he was with BM and she cut out her older daughter's father. It never once occurred to him even when they split up that she would do the same thing to him with SS. You don't realize what your partner will become after a divorce.
My husbands exwife was married to
To her ex high school sweetheart barely a week after the divorce. Tried to play the pity me card and i’d devas He’s divorcing me but apparently not devastated enough to no remarry.
gubm here waitied till kids were in school, marries this guy at the ministers office and waits for kids to come home and says “i got married and you have a new daddy now”, claimed she had another kid despite her tubes being tied and having no money to undo the procedure...
hubbys exwife is stil alienating the kids especially sd’s and these daughters actually refer everything to stepdad. Stepdad says they cannot see bio dad and they listen to him and tell their dad
They probably suit each other
They probably suit each other very well, usually these GUBM's aren't looking for the top pick of the litter, just the ones who will pay the bills.
Didn't think of it that way.
Didn't think of it that way. LOL