I am utterly baffled and bewildered. I don't ususally have actual fights with my sister, she is a point of life for me, and, I hope, I am for her. We did have a terrible fight over how some information about the clinic was disseminated to certain providers at the clinic. In short, she distributed it and I was not aware of it, the few who were concerned feaked out, and it was a thing I could have easily assauaged them of had I known.
So she and I entered into what was more like an epic struggle over who directs my clinic. My greatest fault is that I trust people, I cannot procede otherwise.
So I thought if she chose to not be there, I would be at the clinic and not at the one conference my husband and I attend each year.
I decided independently of her choice to go. I had thought it would not be possible, but then I considered it a bit more. And maybe out of defiance, I decided I would go. Last year he won another national award, my sister was pivotal in my being unable to attend that one. I thought, I am not going to repeat. At some juncture, I must decided these things.

So I came. I'm here now.

Fuck me up the ass #86 in play at the moment.

This is so convoluted to me, it's hard to even think about it really. A dilema I have is that I love my husband, I respect him. He has also hurt me in the most confounded ways, things far beyond my wildest imagination. None of these things involves what might be more socially understood things. They are things that feel so deep, so unnecessary, I begin to wash away when I experience them. I cry, and I cry. I do not understand. I don't think I ever will.

I don't even know how to convey princess's little powers here. My god. So here goes. From my home state to the state the conference is in. My husband began by priming on me on how this conference had been in this city twelve years ago. Then, un relatedly, he brought up this fabulous Indian food restaurant he had been to, he could not remember the name of it. He made mention of this mysterious restuarant for some months before the conference. There were no other assocations or experiences of this magical restuarant shared with me. No hints, no any any any thing. No thing. Blank slate I believed, as I always have. Because I see him, I know him, I do beleive in him, but why does he lead me along these trails. Why.

So there were months of him apparently puzzling over this mysterious god send of an Indian restaurant, I was with him, all he could ever recollect were vaguaries of how exceptional the food was.
We get here and only in front of other people does he introduce the idea that his experience at this va ha la was not twelve years but was in fact a year and a half ago.

I had had a grotesaque and unique exerience on the plane coming into landing: such enormous ear pressure tears just leaked from my eyes and fluid from my ears. I was shaking with pain and felt like I was going to barf for some hours afterward. I told my husband before taking off that the pilot was a hack and I was worried. He shushed me, good fucker of a man.

The only pain I have ever experienced like that was while giving birth. But I was nice and quiet, I shook, I leaked from my eyes and ears and I was scared but I was fine. Got some sleep and food and then I was ready for a real night's good sleep.

So my husband has been spending all this fucking time, do I ever let my sarcastic ass out again or keep it safely muzzled, talking up this fucking Indian restuarant. We come across a former colleague of his whom I adore and have a tendencyy to mother. Briilliant PhD guy who really just needs a mommy, needs to get himself under his own feet and fly. Ok. So my husband builds this restuarant up to our friend.

When I was sick with bad airplane cabin pressaure, recovering, shivering and sweating while we were checking, my Mr. Wonder Dick mentions for the first time to someone I don't know, doesn't matter, that the last time he was at this restuarant was a year and a half ago. I did not hear that, I wanted to get up to the room and lay down under a comforter.

Today he mentions the restuarant and his year and a half to numerous people.

Put your lips around the biggest hardest sour dick fuck and then insert that into your mind, your little open mind. Play all your trust cards, and then have the player of the deck flck them all at you with a smile on his face. Or her face.

As we exited the taxi, my husband was so excited for blocks on end as we approached this place he could hardly contain himself, he chose to say to our friend that he had been to this very restaurant with princess a year and a half ago.

I chose to ignore it at that time. We're 2 thousand miles from my house, I had no idea, he played me. And we all had a wonderful dinner and a wonderful poltical party. back here at the room I 've had some room to think.

He denies he held any information at all. I have made all this up. Why? I must enjoy a bad time.

Does anyone out there know what it feels like to be hooked on a two thousand mile long string of lies? Bought it hook, line and sinker as they say?

ha ha, joke is so on ME.

princess, you rule. He led me into the one single restaurant he had ever been in with that twat, he told me that literally seconds before we sat down.

I'm so dumbfounded. Why in this world would you ever do something like to anyone? He's better than any fucking sociopath I've known. And I've known a number of them. And he says that my piecing this all together is innaccurate I am wrong. He thinks I should have known, but when I ask him about any aspect of him communicating to me he admits he didn't.

Princess, I raise a glass to you. You slovenly bitch. You hoarder of resources, you gnarly venereal disease. You cunt. You builder of prisons. I hate you. All I can see in front of my eyes are white wings.

Her father tried to tell me I had it all wrong. No, I did not. I wish I had, that is a relief when I can let go my mistakes by knowing I was wrong. This, he led me into.

She has his faith. I don't. From thousands of miles of away, she is like an ax in my mind. THe only way I can get rid of her is by getting rid of him, but I can't, he is my mate.

Hats off princes, a real cou de gras you fucking bitch.