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premiercatch's picture

So last night I had to resort to leaving and going to stay at my moms house.  I am so numb by all of this bull shit w/ the SD I don't even want to re-hash any of the drama anymore.  Once again she has be enabled, SD's boyfriends mother supposedly got the car legal for her.  smh~ How in the hell is this girl EVER going to know how to do anything for herself?  This girl accused her son of rape... I wonder if the boyfriends mom knows that?  I wonder if she knows less than a year ago her son and the SD were having a mutal afair with the boyfriends ex girlfriend, and when shit got wierd the ex tried to stab the SD and ended up stabbing herself.  SD & current bf took the ex to the ER and ditched her there. That is just one more example of the crap she does.  Its really difficult to process that I am leaving a man that appeared to love me so much.  I honestly believed his love for me was truly unconditionally. AAAAnd then came the hurricane.  This time it was the last time, I could not endure the drama, disrespect,, complete lack of reguard for me from both SD & DH.  When he finally answered me when I asked : You knew I was miserable and unhappy.  I didn't keep it a secret, I told u what was going on with me & what this has been doing to me.  Why didn't you do anything to save our marriage?  DH's answer: I was hoping (the bf) would get her out of the house sooner than later. And I wouldn't have to be a dick to both of u, when I flip my top because u guys go after each other and I have to break it up and someone gets hurt.  I was hoping it would go away so we could enjoy our life together, since we are great when its just us.  Reading that was unbelievable to me!  He put his head in the sand and he is openly admitting it.  Interesting... After telling DH yesterday that I'd appreciate him asking SD to be gone from the house this wkend so I could get my things it finally sunk in to him that I really am serious.  He then started flipping script, now he is turning himself into the victim by texting me statements like... I stopped wearing my helmet when I ride my motorcycle because if I get into an accident there is a 9 times out of 10 chance that I will die.   Sorry! U are not making me feel bad for you with your ridiculous statement that was meant purely to pull on my heart strings/guilt.  Be a man get your ass home and communicate & take care of your SD's bullshit.  Even if its too late for us... then damn do it so you can be rid of the doom.  (shrug)  So he chose to not come home and have dinner w/ me (which I cooked and prepared specifically w/him in mind) to communicate and be grown about this situation.  He went to the bar,  that was a pretty definate indication that he is unwilling to deal w/ this and has obviously accepted that he is chosing to let his daughter stay @ the home we worked so very hard for and allow me to just walk away.  10/4 GOOD BUDDY, I HEAR U LOUD AND CLEAR.

Comments

susanm's picture

How could your title be transfered into her name without your signature?  That makes no sense at all.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with a man who can not decid what he wants and simply goes with which ever wind is blowing the strongest.  You will be much happier when this is completed!

premiercatch's picture

I had originally given it to her in just b4 Easter so she could go get it taken care of & transferred. I must have signed it when I had given it to her.  I had no intention of ever taking the car back.  I originally had given it to her grandfather a few years ago, He never transferred it to his name.  When he passed my DH & I decided to give it to SD.  It was totally mutual & I had no problem w/ it at all.  The only requirement was get everything switched over (NOW).  It continued to be an issue for months and months.  I brought it up all the time and it fell on deaf ears.  I was reassured over and over that it was being done this week,  then the following week it was being done this week and so on.  It just never got done until a few days ago when I put my foot down and everyone ran scared to now get this done frantically because the Ogar wasn't kidding this time. 

SteppedOut's picture

Yea, I think I would call the DMV/court house/whoever handles titling vehicles in your area and ensure the title has been transferred. 

You do NOT want something popping up in 6months...2 years, whenever to blindside you with legal costs! 

premiercatch's picture

Yes you are correct.. To put insurance on the vechile are that is needed is a VIN.  Once SD take proof of insurance to Secretary of State and title w/ my signature she can get it all in her name.  It is also to her advantage that I am her legal SM so she it is considered a gift.  She will not have to pay taxes on the vechile it will cost less than $25.00

justmakingthebest's picture

SOOO much drama. I don't know how you lived like that at all... EVER!

I am glad you aren't falling for the poor pitiful me, I am just going to die without you. 

I have gotten to the point in my life where if a guy pulled that crap with me I would have responded with- I only care if my name is on your life insurance policy.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

A lot of us found our way to StepTalk because we're suffering for the past mistakes and conflict-avoidant ways of the weak men we chose. It may indeed be good when it's just the two of you, but that's not healthy and it's not good enough.

He's at the bar, wallowing? What a mangina. Good luck as you move on to the next chapter in your life.

CLove's picture

Im sorry that you are going through this hearbreak, but you are on the right track  = life IS indeed to short to hand it over to cretins that dont appreciate anything, narcissistic jerks, that are incapable of returning the love that you have given.

DH, was not there for his kids as a parent and the world now suffers for it. If you ever falter in your resolve, come back and read the posts that appear on a daily basis detailing the misery from lack of parenting and the havok it wreaks on familes.

Good luck! Keep us posted on your progess.

premiercatch's picture

Isn't life crazy good?  Isn't life crazy confusing?  Not entirely sure what MY life is right now??  BUSY!!  First off its senior year for my daughter, thats exciting.  We (my daughter & I) did end up moving into our own apartment.  Thats been a bit strange to get used to.  The SD played the its all my fault card, and after many incidents and drama filled situations, including but not limited to a family meeting (I did not go).  That took a horrid turn for the worse and my step son decided this was the time he wanted to get years of crap off his chest about his sister and her life, behavior, ect, ect.  So it was a complete waste of everyone's time.  Now we fast forward to yesterday... she voluntarily checked herself into a mental institution AGAIN... See, things were starting to not go in her favor so she needed to hit what she feels is her own personal reset button.  If she goes into a mental hospital then she gets her family to feel guilty and now they walk on egg shells and enable her by helping w/ bills and expenses because they don't want to rock the boat and make her do something to harm herself.  She has done this hospital thing so many times she is a pro!  She knows she has to tell them that she feels as tho she is going to do self harm therefore they have to keep her for a min of 48 hours for observation.  I do apologize if I sound cold and heartless but this is what she does.  In her mind who would make her move out, who would ask her to be held financially responsible for anything because she just got released from a mental institution?  Thats what runs thru her head... I should make a movie about all this?  I'm pretty sure she is a manipulative genius, in the same capacity as a criminal. So as I keep on keeping on in my own world she continues to mess up her own and anyone else's that will allow it.