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Past bully re-entering my life. How I handled it with kindness

porcelian-doll's picture

Sh belittled me, spread lies about me and acted like I was the lowest life form around. It hurt then but I grew into myself as a woman and moved on. She added me on Facebook not to long ago and apologized. I let the past stay in the past but I didn't forget what she had done.

I did trust that she had changed after 10 years. I put of a picture of DD. She left a rude comment. Basically advising me to take her to the doctors because she was way to chubby for a newborn. She also commented on my wedding album with " wow you actually got married, There's hope for us all". I deleted her after reading those comments. I got bored on day and typed in her name on Facebook. I saw that she was posting all sorts of things about how she is pregnant now and alone with no finances. How she doesn't want to live etc.

I reached out to her and told her things do get better and got her address. I have sent her a care package of all DD's baby stuff I wont be using and the things she has grown out of already. I event sent a few bottles and some formula. I'm not hoping for praise or her friendship I don't even care if she thinks me. I just want to share my story of how I got past the hurt in my life. I could bash her and put her on blast and condemn her for getting pregnant by whom and how she did and get back at her but I'd rather extend a helping hand instead. Maybe one day she will change and pay it forward.

Comments

Rose.Colored.Glasses's picture

Wow that's extremely big and commendable of you. Ppl tend to think I'm too nice but I would've thought it was karma,moved on, and maybe even shared the info with an old friend or past victim or theirs.

bluehighlighter's picture

Wow. Good for you. Kill w kindness. Hopefully she won't bother you anymore she's probably always been a miserable person. SO's best friends wife is like that. She's awful. Be careful and know that you're the bigger person. I wouldn't trust her at no matter what. Ppl like that if they haven't changed in 10 years just aren't going to. The best friends wife in my situation recently broke her ankle. I thought " damn karma is a b isn't it". I'll admit I'm still thinking about sending her flowers or a care package but I still have to put up w her all the time do I don't want her thinking she can walk all over me again and be rude just bc I'm a nicer person.

porcelian-doll's picture

I hope not it was beautifully packaged . Everything was in mint condition. We just had a lot of extras from the baby shower and DD is growing out of clothing faster than I imagined. I even bought her new baby bottles and formula because I breast feed but maybe she wont so I was being thoughtful.I really hope she appreciates it.

DD is doing great. She dos this amazing new thing called sleeping through the night and letting me sleep as well. Not all the time but more and more often. She is sleep feeding right now lol. She will fall asleep feeding I can tell she is about to fall asleep in a minute or two. Its so weird I lived 28 years without her but now its like i can't imagine what life was like without her.

Midwest Stepmom's picture

Wow, you are a much better person then I am.

I had this happen to me. There was the "popular" girl in high school that made my life hell. One day on Facebook she said something about how she can't stand bullies. I sent her a private message and explained what she did to me and I considered her a bully. Things did not go well with the back and forth emails.

I get over it by knowing that my life has gone in a better direction then hers.

herewegoagain's picture

lol you really think these people change? You are a better person than I am, but I can assure you, these people do NOT change. People are either entitled aholes or they're not…simple as that.