SD16 RAN AWAY
My stomach is in knots right now. We caught her sneaking out and told her she would be in big trouble after school. But she didn't come home. She texted BM not to worry about her. Its been a full day since we last saw her.The police spent the night patrolling the area to no avail.
Her friends told us she got picked up by an older guy but they don't know his name or where he lives. We have been going th through her computer and trying to pull up phone records. DH has taken every thing we have. Learned to the sheriff's office.
Im here for advice hope and support. When she does return what are any of us suppose to do. BM says she can't deal with her.DH is afraid to punish her because he thinks she will just do this again. I haven't stopped crying. I just want to see her again home safe.
She hasn't contacted us or anything. I don't know what's going on with her. Please keep our family in your thoughts.
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<> You need to look at
<> You need to look at alternative housing for her. A facility for these kids. Start researching now. And just pray. Let us know.
This has not been the first
This has not been the first time she got caught sneaking with a boy. Still have not heard from her and she didn't turn up at school today. There it's nothing lol about this.
BM can't control her, Dad
BM can't control her, Dad can't. She needs some serious tough love and unfortunately that is all there is for these type of kids. I had three facilities I had researched when SD18 was doing stupid stuff. Because she wasn't coming here.
I am in a worse spot, because she is 18 now and a train wreck and she doesn't have to go anywhere, but when she OD's or does something else stupid, she is not coming here and BM has already seems to have written her off. DH will do it out of guilt, but I won't.
This kid is out of control, what is she supposed to do? Make her cookies and send her back to school?
DH said she didn't turn up at
DH said she didn't turn up at school. I'm really scared at this point I just want her to come home.
This
This
oh porcelain! i was
oh porcelain! i was wondering what u've been up to.
((((hugs)))) my brother used to pull these sorts of stunts (for reasons other than bf/gf).
it's hard, i remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach when he was gone so strong i can still taste it, twenty plus years later.
sounds like you're doing everything you can at the moment. it's a power-play, she's getting older and trying to assert control over herself and her life, and reject daddy's control (i.e. "you cant tell me what to do!" then disappearing)
i'm really not sure what advice to give for when she IS back home. i wonder if there's some sort of help line you might find online, some crisis counselor who might have ideas on how to handle this?
again ((hugs))
I think, when she comes home,
I think, when she comes home, you can choose where you want to be on the spectrum.
On one end, you and DH come down hard on her. Her running away like this has frightened you both, and once you know she's safe, that fear will turn to anger. She's shown a lack of respect for you and for herself. She's been irresponsible. And who knows what she's been doing that you might have a problem with! So you can come down on the side of punish.
On the other end, you and DH think something must be very wrong in her life for her to behave this way. This isn't how normal teens communicate with their parents. Acting out is talking back, coming home 30 minutes later than agreed, challenging boundaries in 'relatively' safe ways. Running away and staying away for more than 24 hours is a big red flag. So have you guys missed earlier signals? How can you change things to avoid this kind of behaviour in the future? You can come down on the side of being understanding & talking about it.
Personally, I think the sweet spot is in the middle. The dangerous and disrespectful behaviour should be punished. And the reasons for that behaviour need to get talked about and help found so that this isn't her new normal.