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Sad Dad Syndrome

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 11:22am

I've noticed that lately, whenever DH speaks with skids by phone, after he hangs up, his mood is really sour....I mean like totally depressed. I understand that it must be extremely hard for him not being able to see them whenever he wants, but his change in mood makes this part of his family feel like crap. Last weekend, we were getting ready for a family outing (DH, me, Bios), we had a really fun weekend planned....then the phone rings and its the skids. Well, DH went from absolutely stoked to absolutely unmotivated in 0 to 60. He didn't even participate in the events we'd planned. I haven't brought it up to him as of yet, but I can't sweep it under the rug anymore, because now the live-in kids want to know if its something they did.

Anyone else have a situation like this?

Comments

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 11:47am

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like DH is going to realize how his attitude makes us feel until I bring it to his attention.

I wish it were easier for him, but is this what we have to look forward to?????????????????????????

Mich811's picture

Submitted by Mich811 on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 12:18pm

Yes. The worst is when he gets calls while they are on vacation with BM -- he is devestated after they hang up, and it ruins his whole day. I can say, though, that this has gotten better over the years (but it is still something that clearly impacts him).

winehead's picture

Submitted by winehead on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 12:54pm

My skids are adults but this occasionally happens to me too. I try to gently remind DH to "be in the moment," which reminds him that there is a world beyond his children. My DH has also been diagnosed with depression, so I know when this starts to happen frequently that it's time to have him check in with the doc.