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Hubby Rant, Sorry

Pinky20's picture

I love my DH more than anything but I just have to rant a sec.

I rarely have weekends off and when I do get them I'm super excited and extra excited when it's a step kid free weekend. But it always ends the same I think of something fun I'd like to do. Simple as go on a walk in the park. I don't ask for much but this is how it always plays out.

I wake up go downstairs then 2-3 hours later he comes down with pillows so he can lounge on the couch for the rest of the day and do the regular routine of on his phone 24/7 watching videos or playing a video game. And that's how my whole weekend experience. Forget about romance cause he will stay up way to late for sex.

I'll find anyway to get out of the house even to just go out for coffee to bring back.

And he is such an ass hole in the morning grumpy grumpy but it's ok cause that's just how he is and he can't help it. Ummm why do you get a free past every morning to be a dick?!?!?

I don't have that luxury. Lol

I can't stand to be inside constantly! But he can, it's the weekend time for me to unwind from the work week. 

Sorry the list goes on but I just had to rant.


Kona_California's picture

I so can relate! Being cooped up with SO's make their flaws stand out even more. 

My damn SO does the same damn thing with his damn phone. It's like glued to his hand. I have told him how it makes me feel a bunch of times but he still does it. Tell him you want some romance even during this weird time. Maybe ask for a romantic night being a no-phone evening. 

The being a jerk in the morning thing... what I have found works for this kind of behavior is completely ignoring him any time he's being a douche. As though he's invisible and his talk is the wind. For example, you say "good morning!" and he says "what do you MEAN good morning?!?!" don't give any response at all, just walk out of the room and carry on with your day making coffee or breakfast. If he bitches about you ignoring him, calmly tell him you won't respond to his meanness and you'll wait until he wants to be nice again to acknowledge his existence. The idea is doing this consistently will teach him he'll have to be a d*ck by himself, and you free yourself from being his punching bag. 

Do more for yourself and expect less from him right now. Schedule video calls with friends and family. Give yourself little spa sessions like mani-pedi with some wine and an indulgant TV show. 

Hang in there girl!! 

Pinky20's picture

I'll try that ! I can't stand that aditude in the morning!!!

Monkeysee's picture

I agree with kona, find your own things to do and ignore his crankiness. Though I’d also be using this time to question what you’re getting out of this relationship if this is the way he’s treating you.

Iamwoman's picture

Hmmm. Kind of seems to me like your DH was most likely the problem in his last relationship too. I'm sure the ex didn't like this behavior any more than you do.

justmakingthebest's picture

So, you have told him how this makes you feel. You have asked for some pretty simple stuff and he just don't care to make any changes for you.

That shows you what you mean to him. You are asking to go for a walk together. Eat some breakfast and chat together. Go to bed at a reasonable time together so you and have some sexy time. That is NOT A LOT. Those are very basic things to have bonding in your marriage. If he can't see that. Doesn't care. Whatever- that just solidifies the fact that you are just a live in nanny/extra paycheck into the house. That is not worth staying in a marriage to me. What are you getting out of this marriage exactly? Please don't say "But I looooveee him" because love is never enough. It helps but it isn't enough.

Pinky20's picture

I do love him I'm just worried we are hitting that state of marriage of comfort I guess we have been married 7 years, and known each other for 17 years.


anaxnicole's picture

It sounds like you guys aren't capatable? I'm curious to know more about this situation. Do you get along with his kids? Is he the same way on the weekends with the kids??? Has he always been this way throughout the whole relationship? To me, it really sounds like you guys are interested in doing different things and like you guys shouldn't be together. I mean, you've told him how you feel and he doesn't care enough to change it.

Pinky20's picture

Yeah I love my SD I get up every morning with her make her breakfast while he sleeps,  when I have to work I come on lunch for an hour and she's in her room watching youtube or playing video games while he is making a dent in the couch. 

Me and her will have girls day and we go out and do some running around.


Kona_California's picture

This man should be thanking his lucky stars and kissing the ground you walk on!! You deserve so much better. 

Pinky20's picture

Is your DH about the same?