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Sad and disappointed in DH... once again i am push into a lose lose situation where i have to compromise

PeanutandSons's picture

You might remember my blog months ago about the baby's birthday. The plan since he was born was to take a trip to my family for his first birthday just like we did with bs4 when he turned one. I have no family in current state and dhs family doesn't acknowledge our children so a party down here wouldn't really work... No one would show up.

When the baby was 7-8 months old dh got on this kick to skip the trip to NH and just take a family vacation to a water park hotel for his birthday. I didn't like that plan but kept an open mind. It got the the point where a decision needed to be made and ticket ordered or reservations made. He then decides that he doesn't want the skids getting a trip to my family to be spoiled because their behavior has been atrocious and they would have to miss school and weren't doing well this year. Then he decided that the hotel was too expensive and they didn't deserve that either and since BS can't swim yet (although he'd still have loved it) and the baby obviously couldn't enjoy it that we weren't treating the skids to that either. So basically the decision I was left with was go to home state with my boys alone or not give my son a 1st birthday party. Dh insisted that I take the boys up since most of my family hasn't met the baby yet. His one request was that we not be gone on the baby's actual birthday though so he would be with him to celebrate.

So I booked our tickets for the weekend after his birthday. Couldn't go for as long as I wanted cause couldnt dh couldn't get enough time to watch the skids on his own. I also couldn't be up there for mothers day with my mom and will be going the weekend after. But dh being with the baby on his birthday was more important so that's what we did.

Now we are only a few days from his birthday.....and dh didn't even take the day off from work....and he has a Dr appt scheduled on his birthday. He works second shift so he has s Dr appt at 930 am and will leave for work at 2pm. So much for being with the baby to celebrate his birthday.

So now we either have to do his cake and presents at lunch time while the kids are at school, do it at dinner time with the skids and dh misses it, or wait until Saturday morning when its not even his birthday anymore. I am leaning towards doing it at lunch with me dh and bs4.

Why can't anything be simple in a step family. Why is it always me and my kids making the accommodations?