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Please help me

PB's picture

Can you believe that he just sent me a text to say lets talk tomorrow, so we can separate. 

Is it him to separate from me?! haha that's a joke! 

He a** instead of solving the issues with Sd 7/24 and starts to work like a man he wants a separation from me?!

What should i tell him girls? I'm angry, sad, upset at the same time, dont know what to do or what to say....


stepmomnorth's picture

I think that you should take him up on his offer. If you look at it this way, it will make it easier if he suggests this. You don't owe anything, an explanation or otherwise, to him or his kids. You won't have to support him any longer and you can be free from him. 

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

You don't need him . He needs you . You have a job. By all means let him go . Stay angry. Ask yourself is this situation acceptable to you ? No. It isn't. You are not working your a$& off for Bm and him and their kid. You aren't their slave . He brings absolutely nothing to the table . He is not a partner to you in any sense of the word . He does nothing to lighten your load. Good riddance to bad rubbish 

Winterglow's picture

Shift all of your money out of your bank account and into one he cannot touch immediately! Also block his cards. See a lawyer about ensuring he cannot run up debts under your name making you responsible for his fees. Do this all today.

I understand you feel angry but you should also feel relieved. You are about to lose that millstone round your neck that's been pulling you down.

I'd bet on him getting back together with his ex ...

Survivingstephell's picture

The date you file is important.  In my state at least, it's the date all debt is separated.  That means any debt from that day forward that he runs up is his.  What's left to argue over is the marital debt.  This is so important to know going forward.  

Winterglow's picture

Unfortunately, things might be different where she lives, Turkey. Also, as OP said that her parents live in another country, she might not be a Turkish national and that could further complicate things. Really, she should contact a lawyer ASAP, like yesterday.

Winterglow's picture

Whose name is on the lease of your home, or if you own it, whose name is on the deed and whose name is on the mortgage? 

Glad to hear you are a citizen. That makes things a little simpler. I'm also glad you aren't married because that limits what he can take from you. 

Winterglow's picture

Is it negotiable? I mean, would your landlord let you off the hook if you found a tenant willing to take over your home? It might help if you explained the situation to her/him.

Stepdrama2020's picture

I know you feel beaten down, tired, and sad.

You know what, once you let this chump go you will see just how peaceful life is. You dont want to miss the best part of your book. The next chapter will be filled with peace, gratitude, and happiness YES happiness. 

Live life to be your best. 

Rags's picture

Immediately to home and have the locks re-keyed and transfer all of the liquid assets to another bank in your name only.

He has made this easy. So take the easy road and leave him the hard road.  No more of your time, no more of your money, and no more of your care... for him or anyone or anything related to him.

Congratulations as you start on a new life adventure.

PetSpoiler's picture

Help him pack. If the lease is only in your name, he can go.  It's not like he's helping pay the bills anyway.  Tell him bye now. 

ESMOD's picture

Of course, since you are in Turkey.. you should consult a lawyer about this.  But from the outside it seems fairly straight forward.

You are employed.. your home (lease) is in your name.  He is free to move out and go wherever he wants taking his posessions with him.. 

I know it hurts that he is making the choice to be 100% available to his child vs be with you.. but in the end... I don't think you are losing much in this bargain right?

You aren't married.. so unless there is some common law marriage in Turkey.. I don't see how your boyfriend can have any claim on your home or your income.  

The only issue is if you would have to "evict" him.. legally?  in the US you might have to do that.

But, if he wants to separate.. then that is probably the best.

If you want to meet him, I would do it in a safe place.. not alone in your home.