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Happy new year -moving in

Overitalready.'s picture

15 year old step daughter texted dh stating she was moving back in Sunday ! She left in and Uber in June while we were sleeping and went to her moms . My anxiety is thru the roof , he casually told me .  I just don’t know what to do . She’s rude  and disrespectful. 


Overitalready.'s picture

Yes . I do need to stand up for myself .  Her father did not Want her playing sports during the pandemic but we found pictures of her online playing . She just does whatever she wants .

JRI's picture

My SD bounced back and forth, too.  Whenever one of the parents got on her case, she would move.  It teaches them that they don't have to face the consequences of their actions.  

The predictable course of events is:  the child tells the non-custodial parent ( dad) how mean mom is.  Implies mom is exhibiting the same bad behavior dad already experienced prior to the divorce.  Unreasonable, crazy, volatile.   Dad feels pity and, secretly, vindication, also feels like a savior.  The child moves in.  A honeymoon period occurs.  The child goes back to the behavior that enraged mom.  Dad tries to correct the child but ( see above, repeat).

CLove's picture

SD21 Feral Forger - I called her the "Boomerang Child" because of this EXACT behavior. Shes tried boomeranging a few times back in, but after she moved out at 18, basically ghosted us and kept her filth in the room, its a no-go zone. Its my room with all my stuff in it.

That being said, yes, this definitely taught the lesson that there is no reason to try to be a civilised human, that treats people with respect, because, why? The mother, Toxic Troll is the same.

CLove's picture

TEll your DH no, this is not happening, and give him repercussions.

AMarin's picture

Since I don't yet have experience with this, all I can say is how difficult that sounds and I'm sorry you have to go through this. You deserve better communication than that. I know there a lot of things similar to this that my husband and i couldn't have worked through in our new marriage without our trusted friend/counselor. I hope that somehow you guys will be able to talk it through. 

Dogmom1321's picture

No. Why is a 15 y/o coming and going wherever she pleases? There is a bigger problem here. What does the CO say? 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

You have to put your foot down and set some limits for your own sanity and demand a conversation about this whole thing. You have a right to express your concerns.