Really, that’s all you expect?
I finally spoke to idiot last nite. I just couldn’t hold back after I walked into stepspawn's room and saw the complete devastation she left after the Easter break marathon. I wish I could post pictures here because it’s THAT bad that I want to share it. Sort of like when you open old milk, sniff it and get whacked in the face by the scent of curdling cream and shove it in your partner’s nose for him to sniff it too!
I stopped cleaning her room years ago. For a while I had a house cleaner coming once a week but she was told not to go into that room (I was paying for it and the first time she came and looked at the room she said, “I’m a cleaner, not a maid. If you want me to sift through the garbage and clothes on the floor I can do that after the house is done but it’ll be extra", no bueno, the room is off limits). Stepspawn’s here every other weekend and an occasional extra day here and there. When she is here, 99% of the time she drops her backpack on the kitchen floor, calls her friend and leaves. How can someone do to their room what she does in the amount of time she’s physically here?!?
So... I’ll try to explain what I encountered when I opened the door. I was slapped in the face with the sweet, chemically smell of fake coconut (which I had been smelling all week as it wafted under the door to infect the whole upstairs). Evidently her bottle of drugstore coconut body spray had leaked onto her mattress (doesn’t everybody keep their perfume on their bed?) so all 6.8 ounces of it had soaked through the sheets, mattress and into the wooden platform bed that at $3000 she HAD to have last year. There’s no dirty clothes in the hamper because she needs to rifle through it every time she comes to find underwear (yup, dirty ones.. guess she does the sniff test to see which pair to wear??). Dirty clothes mixed with new with price tags still on clothes cover every inch of the rug. There’s empty water bottles, gummy bear, and chocolate wrappers all over the floor, dresser and bathroom counter. Her bathroom is a Jack and Jill so there’s two sinks, one of them looking like it’s grown fur because she sits on the counter and shaves her legs over that sink. The toilet bowl is black, the bathtub is brown (they’re original white). She throws all the clothing store bags in one corner as if it’s a sign of her wealth (I can’t remember the last time she was here and didn’t go shopping) and register receipts pop up through the clothes on the floor like little spring flowers everywhere. The pièce de résistance would be the used Kotex and panti-liners that are, 1. Still stuck to her underwear 2. Falling out of the overflowing garbage can 3. Randomly stuck to the dirty and new clothes, and 4. Now being stuck to the bathroom wall next to the toilet (how industrious of her to use the adhesive to stick it to the wall, like she’s saving them in case she runs out to reuse, like she does with her underwear). Now in this clusterf*ck there’s one thing missing... a toothbrush. The kid has been given enough toothbrushes to wipe out cavities in North America yet there’s not one anywhere in her room or bathroom.
After dinner I spoke to idiot and asked him if he’d seen his daughter's room and he said no, that it’s private and he doesn’t like to invade her privacy. I told him that I pay for half of that room, he the other half, so until she’s paying rent it falls under the category of mine and his, not hers. I said he’s failing his daughter by not teaching her responsibility and that by giving her money without earning it, buying movie tickets and clothes and dinners and whatnot he’s teaching her that nothing has value. If you give your kids everything, nothing is special.
Idiot sat quietly while I spoke. He even took a few seconds after I was done and then responded, "It’s not up to you to decide for me what’s important to me. In my eyes my daughter is adequately meeting my expectations and deserves everything I give her. She gives me back 100 times what I give her, so she actually deserves more than she gets. I’m teaching her how to be an adult just fine, so don’t you worry about it. No one told you to look in her room. If you don’t like what you see then stay out. It doesn’t bother me".
And that’s it. These men really believe they’re teaching their kids responsibility and life lessons. They’ve lowered their expectations, values and beliefs to such an extreme when it comes to their little darlings, and yet I bet most of your men would bring to your attention if you left a glass in the sink. I know mine does.