My counselor asked me, "Would you accept your life the way it currently is, one year from now?"

NO!!! I didn't even let him finish the question. We talked more about the skids, DH and just all the things I am sick of and could not possibly tolerate for one more year.

Later in the day, I thought to myself, "yeah but what about 6 months?" My answer was still no.

3 months. Would I tolerate my life as it is, 3 months from now? No.

Game on! 2 months? Nope.

ONE MONTH...30 DAYS?

NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

I put a giant dry erase board up on the wall. I drew a giant 30 in the middle.
Off to the side of the dry erase board I hung a large sheet of blank paper. I wrote the date on it and added little check boxes with a list of tasks to accomplish that day. I checked them all off and just kept going with the tasks that will get me out of my life in the next 30 days. Every day I write down the things I did to move my goal forward.

For me, changing my life means selling and donating MOST of my possessions and cleaning the house like a Merry Maid!
The larger goal is to rent out my house. I am leaving and I know that won't happen in 30 days but yes, by working harder and longer than I even believe myself to be capable, I can clear out this whole house, stage it and clean it for renters to view.

The possessions I want later, when I buy a house somewhere else, can go to storage for now.

I have had enough of the excuses, the waiting, the BM, the skids, the DH...the drama.

There is life on the other side of this. In no way does it involve me supporting a giant man-baby and cleaning a big house all by myself, day in and day out. Life for me does not resemble waiting for the skids to visit or for them to go home just so we can 'get through it'.

I used to travel. I used to do things instead of be tied to a home for the sole purpose of 'we have to live here cause the skids have to visit'. (No they don't stay with me, they stay with DH at his parent's house, but we live in this town and are stuck because of their visitation according to DH.)

Nope. YOU man-baby have to do all of that because you chose to spill your man seed on BM and have 2 kids that neither one of you know how to raise. YOU get to be broke. YOU get to sit at home all summer with the skids.
It's not my life purpose and never will be. I am mad I gave you and your skids 4 years already.

I gotta get my life back and at this point in my 'countdown', I have 19 more days to not be living like I was 30 days ago.