I'm new to this website, and I like everyone have a lot to talk about. Hopefully I'll be able to vent things here without someone who I really don't want to read it stumbling across it and making my life that much more difficult.

I have recently been newly exposed to what I can only consider the beginnings of a possible pseudo-step-parenting relationship between myself and my significant other's child. That isn't the problem - the child is amazing and we get along rather well. In fact, I would almost venture to say that some of our interaction could be considered bonding. My boyfriend is also new to this type of relationship with his child, having only started visitation with him a few months ago.

The problem, of course, lies with the child's mother. She hates me, as expected. But not only does she hate me, she hates me with the fury of a thousand blue suns. She is so painstakingly dedicated to my misery and demise that she has spent quite a bit of her time and money pursuing that end. I don't use this phraseology lightly - she has spent a significant amount of cash on me.

I have gone back and forth with myself. At first I was hopeful and optimistic (not to mention quite a bit naive), thinking that maybe if I put my best face forward and worked hard enough, she'd eventually come to understand that it would be more beneficial to everyone involved if she would work with me instead of against me. After all, I'm able to bury my dislike toward her and my anger at all the things she's done to me in order to make things easier on the child and everyone else, why shouldn't she be able to swallow her hard feelings and do the same?

Unfortunately, I've come in recent months to realize that the answer to that question is because she just can't. Regardless of how long the two of them had been apart before I came along, she will never be able to cope with the idea of me being around. It has not gotten better with time, and I am coming to believe that it never will.

After recently coming to the epiphany that she probably will never change, I have committed myself to, well, myself. I no longer feel the need to justify or defend myself to her. I realize now how idealistic it was of me to honestly believe that if I tried hard enough she would be able to set aside her jealousy and hate to work with me. I regret all the countless hours I've spent consoling her, explaining things to her, counseling her, and just listening to her vent about her ex or me or the situation as a whole. I've decided to stop all of that now, and only respond to her if absolutely necessary. Of course, this royally ticks her off, but what do I care?

I just wish she wasn't so irrevocably rash and difficult. Why does she have to seize every perceivable opportunity to make things harder on everyone? Why does she have to focus so much of her energy on making everyone around her miserable? Why can't she just get over herself and her past and move on? I'm most concerned with her relationship with her son...if she continues on this path for too much longer I'm afraid he's going to grow to resent and dislike her. I really don't want that for her, even though she's caused me a lot of strife I still don't think anyone deserves to be resented by their own children.