Avoiding family pictures
My DH wants to do a family portrait. One with DH, me, SD, SS, and DS and one with just DH, me, and DS. I've been avoiding the subject. I've grown to really dislike SS. Outwardly our relationship is fine, we aren't loving towards each other, but we both seem to tolerate each others existence. Privately, I really just want him to ask to live with his mom because I can't stand him. I don't want to have a portrait done because then it will be displayed in the house, most likely in the living room. To be blunt, I don't want to be reminded of his face on a constant basis. I know that as a result, I'll never have pictures of DH, me, and DS, but I'm ok with that if it means I don't have to have an entire "family" portrait. I know that it sounds petty, but that's where I'm at now. Has anyone else dealt with this or felt this way?
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YES!! I'm getting married in
YES!! I'm getting married in February 2016 and do not want to have wedding pictures taken with my two SDs. They are privately against my upcoming marriage to their father and I know this. They don't know that I know.
I'm still on the fence as to what I'm going to do. FH wants the pictures and making him happy is important to me. If standing for a few pictures can do that maybe I will. Just don't know yet.
Perhaps you can get them done and not put any up? Then you would have pictures that would make your DH happy but you don't have to look at every day.
That's my fear of having the
That's my fear of having the portrait done. Once it's done, there's the chance of it being put up and if the kids want it up, how am I going to say that I don't want it displayed. That's why I'm against taking the picture at all. But, I know what you mean. I want to make my DH happy, but I don't want to be miserable so he can get this picture.
I'm sorry but that is
I'm sorry but that is exceptionally petty. Cutting off your nose to spite your face essentially. I have photo shoots with my SS and without. His pictures are in my home. I have a special frame that says family with ALL of the children in it.
You may not like this child but he is your H's son. Think about that and how you are rejecting this relationship.
I get what you are saying.
I get what you are saying. Do you love your stepkids? I know my SS doesn't love me and I don't love him. He doesn't like his new brother either. So, it's hard for me to want to look at a picture of his face whenever I'm home, which is all the time since I'm a SAHM. His time at school is the only time I get away from him, so I just don't want a big ol' picture of him in my living room. I'm not going to tell him or anyone else this; it's my private feelings about him. So, that's why I'm avoiding the picture taking.
My SS is 7 and hates my guts.
My SS is 7 and hates my guts. He has no relationship at all with my daughters and has a barely passable one with my H. He however is my DH's son. That simple. I love my H and if I ever want SS to be a part of this families life, I need to show him in whatever ways I can he is a part of this family.
Thanks for letting me know.
Thanks for letting me know. I really respect you for being able to do that for your husband and family even though your SS doesn't like you. Its hard for me to put my feelings aside to deal with my SS.
A little perspective, it's
A little perspective, it's not about you, it's about your family unit which includes this child. If you love this man and are committed to your family, take that picture. It's one or two pictures out of 40-50 you will do that day. Mine are in our dining room which I consider the heart of my home.
My lounge, passage and bedroom have the ones of my girls and us as a couple. My dining room has all of us. It's one room and has 5 pictures of SS in it. My H's study has some more. I paid for the shoots, the frames and I made them for him. There is always a middle ground. Find it and I promise it works.
I gotta agree with tommar -
I gotta agree with tommar - just put your big girl panties on and take the damn pictures.
I assume that you and your husband live together, so that makes your home HIS home, too. He gets to have pictures of his kids in his home, FFS.
How would you feel if he told you that he didn't want a picture of one of your family members hanging up on the wall? THAT'S the filter you need to use here.
wow. OP, i wont repeat what
wow.
OP, i wont repeat what tommar and echo said, but i will say they are right...
I am just going to throw this
I am just going to throw this out there. I totally understand how you feel, but....if I wanted a family picture and my husband said ok but he didn't want to be in the one with my child that would hurt....