SS intentionally peeing on his bedroom floor
Has anyone experienced a SS peeing on their floor? My SO just found this out today. SS is 15 years old. The last few weeks he has been telling me he smells pee and for some reason I haven't picked up on the smell. But finally this morning he went into SS room while SS was in the bathroom and SO said it smells very strong of pee and he discovered the carpet was soaked behind the bedroom door and when he went to smell it he said it smelled very strong of pee. We longer have any pets in the house so the only explanation is SS peed on the floor. He lied a few times when asked about it. And finally said he did it and he didn't know why. Anytime he is questioned about anything he does wrong that is always his answer "I don't know". You can't get anything else out of him. The bathroom is only a few steps from his bedroom. He is already in therapy... has anyone else experienced this and have you gotten to the bottom of it?
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Straight to see his doc. Does
Straight to see his doc. Does he have any special needs? What does his father have to say? In any case, he's 15 he gets to do the deep clean of the carpet ... or ... the cost of cleaning it comes out of his savings. Is his mother sufficiently approachable for your partner to discuss this with her to see if it happens in her home too or if he is just marking his territory .
His mother passed away from
His mother passed away from Lupus last year. We will likely never know if he did that at her home. She never disciplined him for anything and always took up for him from what I understand and the many arguments I overheard. And I believe she may not have always told us everything that happened there
Sleep walking? Gamer? It's
Sleep walking? Gamer? It's not unheard of around here. Lots of reasons. SS should clean it up himself with his father. No way should you be any part of clean up.
He plays video games a lot
He plays video games a lot
Ugh - whatever the reason,
Ugh - whatever the reason, that's a health hazard and I would strip out the pee-soaked carpet and just have hard floor. Place a mop and bucket inside SS's room and say, any more pee on the floor, and he can clear it himself. I suspect it is an act of anger, but I also suspect he won't be keen to mop up his own piss. If he does it again, he also gets to mop the rest of the house, as an added bonus.
Oh, Hell No
I don't care what his diagnosis are....you don't piss on the floor of homes. SS would be steam cleaning the carpet and the door would be taken off the hinges. Want privacy? Then get your lazy butt to the bathroom to urinate. Jeez..what next? Take a crap in one of the corners of the room?? IF he's gaming that much that he can't stop to pee, then confiscate the gaming systems. Want them back? Don't piss on my floors.
I've been in this mess long enough to where my stance would be....DH, get a hotel for visitation and keep your kid there. SMH
This is just so disgusting, I cannot even wrap my head around it.
Something is clearly wrong with SS.
If it's SS doing it (and who else could it be?) but he's complaining about smelling pee but denying peeing on the floor, he needs a psych eval. I suppose it could be him sleepwalking and peeing the floor, but the only way to tell would be cameras, and i'm not sure that's ethical or legal. But it would still indicate a problem.
he knows why he does it, he
he knows why he does it, he doesn't want to leave his precious games long enough to use the bathroom. that is disgusting and would be my hill to cry on. he needs to clean it, his dad needs to enforce this. it's just disgusting.
I agree that gaming or
I agree that gaming or sleepwalking could be the root of the issue. I'd also be curious about possible substance use. I think a trip to the doctor is in order. If he's doing it knowingly/intentionally, hopefully having to discuss it with the doctor will be mortifying enough that he'll knock it off. If it's a medical, mental health, or drug issue, then he's going to need to be treated for it anyway. I would treat it like a true medical concern until you know otherwise.
https://psychcentral.com/adhd
https://psychcentral.com/adhd/child-intentionally-urinating-on-floor-adh...
Could be mental health challenges or adverse reactions from medications
Could also be underlying medical condition
Definitely speak to PCP and psychiatrist about it
Hope your stepson is okay
Interesting reading, Lilly.
Interesting reading, Lilly. Considering the SS's other behaviours (abusing OPs cat), oppositional defiance disorder would not be surprising.
Definitely anger
And/or laziness. Take the carpet out and put in waterproof lvp or tile and keep steam mop for him too clean up the mess. No vid games either and door off!
Also, wtf does this kid's DAD
Also, wtf does this kid's DAD say or do? Just shrug and live in piss and filth?
Oh, wait, this is the cat torturer. Just gtfo that whole mess. Clearly dad has a screw loose as well, and the "kid" might murder you both in your sleep.
SO was furious when I got
SO was furious when I got there and had already made SO start scrubbing the floor with cleaner. He told him how disgusting that is and asked him why he does that. At first he lied and denied it, then he admitted to it and said he doesn't know why. Then after I got there he went back to denying he did it and said that he must have been sleep walking. He has lived with us for 6 months I feel like one of us would have noticed he sleep walks. And I don't believe he ever did that when he lived at his moms.
Sorry I meant to say he made
Sorry I meant to say he made SS start scrubbing the floor with cleaner... not SO
Why are you still there? As I
Why are you still there? As I recall, your stepson also enjoys tormenting your cat; the kid is not only pet-abusive but, apparently, not housebroken either. Hon, it's time to bail!
I am currently staying at my
I am currently staying at my moms. SO and I are still together so I come to the apartment to spend time with him. I found this out when I arrived there yesterday. But he is giving me a really hard time about moving back in with him becuase I am causing us to "go backwards" in our relationship. I explained that I can't right now as it is not good for my mental health and he was understanding of this a few weeks ago. It took a lot for me to actually make a decision to stay with my moms. 2 Years ago i wouldn't even have been able to imagine that. He was talking all about how we were going to make our life better and get a home and get married in the near future and he seemed to understand. But now he's going back to making me feel so guilty for not living at the apartment anymore and telling me i abandoned my responisbilites... and i just feel exhausted. I definitly feel like i'm losing my mind at this point. This is honestly the hardest situation I've ever been in. I love SO very much but idk how this is all becoming really difficult.
How can you build a home with
How can you build a home with what is likely a teenage psychopath? Seriously, this kid needs psychiatric help. Not just ADHD pills but real mental health treatment. Possibly inpatient.
Possibly peeing on hair brush too?
Also, I forgot to mention my SO has mentioned to me before that SS's hair brush smelled like pee a few times. SS has longer hair past his ears. His hair has been very important to him... He has a brush he was usuing when he moved in with us and now SO is wondering if he was peeing on his brush too. But that just sounds too bizarre to me. At this point i'm not completely doubting it but why would anyone want to pee on the brush they use on their hair?
With the BM dead. Not too much
You can do with SS. I AGREE door comes off his room. Video, games. Internet turned off. Except certain hours. DH is upset, but what is he actually doing about it. Except " The Talk ". And we all know it doesn't work. If DH expects you to move back in. He better start sitting on SS. And correct hid bad behavior. SS NEEDS HELP. He needs a full evaluation with someone with a MD after there name. We know there simething wrong. So there must be a treatment plan.
'I see little hope in this dysfunctional SO and his dysfunctional kid .
DH is upset because he has to
DH is upset because he has to face this and deal with it alone. AS HE SHOULD!!!! Do not let him guilt you. If anything you should be making him feel guilty and ashamed for putting you through this situation. DARVO in action I'd say. If DH really wants to make it work with you, you need to state your expectations for him and make him earn you back. You have a fork in the road in front of you. Together or alone. Either way , you have to love yourself first
YSS in my case
Literally defecated all over my house when he didn't get his way at age stb 7. The blame lies squarely with the parents and in this case, Chef was spoiling him to the max in a failed effort to buy his love or be the house with no rules.
Which was hard to do because the Girhippo completely had no rules for any of the three ferals.
Your SO is to blame for guilty parenting his budding Jeffrey Dahmer.
In no way do I excuse your SS
In no way do I excuse your SS's unacceptable (to the MAX) behaviour but I can't help sympathizing with him. He's lost his mother, who spoiled him, and is now grieving with folks who don't really want him. He's probably an angry, bitter mess and needs a therapist like yesterday.
Until that happens, Hon, your wisest course of action is to stay with your moms. My granny sensors twitch when I read your posts so listen up and stay put! Your husband is gaslighting you like a true pro. No doubt, he’s been wildly successful at it in the past? If you give in and move back, you’re inviting him to ignore your needs and the stress that you’re undergoing.
I'm not sure where you got
I'm not sure where you got "don't really want him"....? That was not the case at all. Was it an adjustment? Of course. Especially for me becuase my SO and i have been together 13 years and i have never had a child of my own and his son has lived with his mom this entire time. We only usually saw him every other weekend but even that was a struggle to see him becuase he would fight his mom on coming over becuase he only wanted to be with her. But we both knew it was definitely a possibility one day that he would live with us and I can definitely say my SO definitely did want him. It's his child who he loves very much.