My SD is an EMO

and it freaks me out. She's obsessed with death, dresses like a goth and has spooky friends. Does anyone have any experience with this whole EMO thing?

MyHell's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

No but I

will say its scary. I will say it could just be a phase she is in. I know my kids are scared of people who look that way but you know its just a look. You know the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover". they may be really nice kids or not. I can't say. I can understand how you could feel that way though.

I am sorry...
Try to dress just like her and see if you freak her out?

NIP IT IN THE BUD !

If you have read anything that we are dealing with - with the 14 o.y.
Please try everything to detour this road.

It started with SD with dressing in black, dark eyeliner, lip ring, eyebrow ring, the fucked up hair styles, then they change their religion to 'wiccan'. They are very into wierd music and 'moshing' becomes their from of dancing and self-expression. They begin to have very little regard for authority and the people around them.

I don't know, I suppose it could be a phase, but I strongly recommend you watch this behavior closely to see if it progresses.

GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!!! Jo

My Bio daughter went through

My Bio daughter went through this when she was 14-15yrs old. She was what she called a "Goth" and expressing her individuality.
She of course outgrew it. Thank God! She is now 21 married in college and working. In other words a decent member of society.
Try to keep communication open and notice if there is a new group of friends or a drop in grades or something else "suspicious" and possibly "dangerous" if not then allow her to go through this at her own pace and throw in comments ever once in a while about how so and so( a friend of hers or someone she respects) really liked her hair done this way or her clothes worn that way(point out ways that are more socially acceptable), and that it made her look sooo good and grown up. teens really respond well to the impressions that they make to anybody but their parent---lol
Whatever you do, don't criticize or pick, She will most likely react by becoming more withdrawn and morbid. This will build a self hatred and rebellion towards you.
Lisa Dawn

watch but don't push

i completely agree with holeekrap789.

My 15 yo sd is currently flitting in and out of the 'emo' stage. I always used to refer to this style as 'goth', but i guess that's out now! She has a lot of self-esteem issues that her dad and i watch very closely, though he wasn't as concerned as i was when she started wearing the black makeup and baggy clothes. I know from experience that sometimes extreme fashion is a mechanism for trying to fit in when you don't fit in.

i know it doesn't make any sense...these kids scream about being individuals and wanting to be 'themselves' yet dressing in a way that is faddish. And using this fad a way to fit in when it makes them stick out like sore thumbs! but i watch my sd's attitude and talk to her a lot about friends and decisions that come her way, and how she deals with them.

because of her issues, i worry that the doom and gloom of emo appeals to her because she feels no one will ever love her (no one meaning 'boys' of course), so the tough exterior is a wall she can hide behind so no one sees her hurt.

understanding what is going on in their lives, and being able to talk to them without telling them they are being ridiculous, or that they look stupid, is the biggest deciding factor in whether the emo fad will become something more threatening in the future.

another thing that helps me not hide my face in shame when we're out in public: i pull out my photo album and wonder how MY mother felt when I looked like I fronted the punk band Rancid.

renee - *blend

Get Involved... o_O ... Just Trust Me On This!!!

I know it's the last thing you want to do, but try getting seriously involved here. It worked for me.

When I was 14 years old, I became 'goth' which is what our children call 'emo' (I guess in an attempt to be different???)... my mother tried EVERYTHING. She would drag me to church , she would ground me, she would cry and beg... but nothing could convince me to change. Then, one day I was getting ready to go to a party with some friends (leaving her home alone) and she asked me if she could watch me do my make-up... whatever, right? After watching me finish my make-up, she shocked me... she asked me if I would do her make-up like mine. After an exchange of weirdo looks and an awkward silence, I proceeded to give her the ultimate CorpsePaint... after seeing herself in the mirror, she took it even further - she asked me to 'make her hair match her face'... I asked "Are you serious?" and she nodded so I rolled my eyes and proceeded. Finally, after all of this, I expected her to see her reflection and freak out... instead, she freaked ME out by admiring my work. So, as any 14 year old would, I took that opportunity to TRY to get her to freak out... I dressed her in black knee-high boots, fishnets, black miniskirt, and a black silk shirt with 'stevie nicks' sleeves. She looked in the mirror and I smiled victoriously when she gave this look of disapproval... but instead of hating this Hellish get-up, the disapproving look was followed by "Aren't you going to let me wear a choker like yours?"... my victorious grin melted. But, I knew this was my last chance to make her hate this outfit, so I put one of my black leather dog collars (she despised them) around her neck and stepped back, deperate for disapproval. Her response both shocked and confused me - "This collar isn't so bad, afterall... hey, I'll give you a ride to the party, what do ya say?". :jawdrop: My jaw dropped in awe at the sight before me... my mother, who was a 'preppy' highschool cheerleader, was dressed all out in gothic attire and wanting to take me to a PARTY... there HAD to be a catch. So I asked, "What's the catch?"... she replied with, "Would you rather party on a whole new level or sit at home alone on a Friday night with nothing on TV?"... I didn't buy it, but decided that since she had gone as far as to let me dress her like that, she must be desperate so I let her take me AND my friends to this party. Counting myself and my mother, there were five of us sitting in my mother's car getting ready to go inside to the party... one of my friends broke the awkward silence "Dude, is that your mom?" and I replied "Uh, yeah...". As I stared at the floor in shame, my friend said "I wish my mom hung out with me like that...", so we invited her into the party, stayed a couple hours, and then she took us home. We had an absolute blast.

You see, my mother opened my eyes to something new that night. She showed me that she was willing to do whatever it took to spend time with me. Contrary to my belief, she WANTED to be involved in my life, and she CARED. After that, I toned the 'goth' down a bit and became opened minded to some of the things SHE was into. A few months later, she married my stepdad who enjoyed the same kind of music as I did... which, along with some GREAT heavy metal concerts, brought us closer together.

So, now that I have a 6 year old stepson of my own, I understand that when he hits these insane little stages of life, I have to just go with the flow. Right now, he's big into Naruto and Yu-Gi-Oh (o_O), which I know very little about... but we have this closeness and this bond because I TRY (big emphasis on 'try') to play the card game with him and I make an effort by watching the TV shows with him... even though I honestly couldn't care less. See? If you go with the flow and try some things THEIR way, sometimes it really makes a difference.
It never hurts to try...

Emo is not Goth

I am a high school counselor, so I see the whole range of the rainbow on my campus. I got "schooled" a couple of months ago about this culture. I always grouped these kids together as "Goth". The "goth" kids are separated in this group by the music that they favor. The "emo" kids listen to what they call "emotional rock/punk" (i.e.Green Day). These are the kids that are "drama queens" in this whole big group. I have some really great "goth" and "emo" kids. They are in band and other extracurricular activites. They are just expressing their "original sense of style". I laugh b/c how original are they if they all look alike?!?!?

Another post had a good comment on just observing grades, friends, and behavior. Now if there are warning signs (i.e. change of friends, dropping grades, obvious depression, etc..) talk to her. Open the lines of communication. She could be silently asking for help.

For the most part I have seen this style come and go in kids. In my opinion you should be more frightened of the "gang bangers" and if she turned into one of those.

You are here