Dealing with Stealing
last night around 7:45 I come home with my BD's to a witch hunt. SS11 has a missing penny from his science fair project and can't find it anywhere. It is obvious someone stole it as the bag is out of his backpack and on the floor. He immediately accuses my toddler, even though she has yet to see him after school and it just came home. Even though a toddler would have taken out all the money in the bag, and left a mess. When I point out to SS and DH that I haven't been home with any of my BD's yet and he was only with his siblings, he suddenly realized it was his younger brother and starts trying to attack him. Always fun when the kids that try to kill each other come home. DH sits little smirking 8 year old SS down and he sits in time out refusing to cooperate and give back the money. It finally ended at around 8:50. They went to bed, and I sat up angry for a few hours because I have watched these skids steak for 6 years!!! They have stolen from me, stolen from stores, stolen from their best friends, and then lost their best friends, stolen from their "single" Mom, and from their sisters and grandparents. I have taken them back to stores, taken them back to friends, tKe. Them to religious leaders, taken them to counselors, BUT BM encourages them to do it, AND doesn't make them suffer consequences. When she emailed and asked if I gave SA11 $10, and I said "No, but his sister had $10 stolen from her, can you please send him out with it, she decided to trust him and the fact that he found it on the "street" so she let him keep and spend it. When I made him return a BB gun he stole from his friend and suffer the consequences of his actions, I was being unkind because I should have made excuses for him. Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of moral issue? She has gotten expensive jewelry from them before and not looked for a source but then I guess I tend to think she benefits from this and maybe taught the behavior. Well, last night after the kids went to bed we went downstairs and discovered their sisters necklace (sterling silver with sapphires) and get this my China, stuffed in their backpacks. They are taking all of their clothes out of our house, my private mail, my writings, their toys and their sisters toys, and now MY DISHES out of my home to their BM's. It's not like she's broke, she made 60,000 from one six month marriage. She lives with her Mom and stepdad. She makes $4000 per month (more if you count money she gets for being a "single" Mom and from her Dad and all her boyfriends. They have even bought her cars. She is WAY ahead of us financially, and we do all the childcare and driving. We feed them every meal, and more. She has worked it so she has very little responsibility and still most of the say. It is a crap situation however you look at it. Ideas? Solutions? Hope?