While I'm not crying 24/7, I have yet to go a day without crying. Nothing has changed as far as SH is concerned. No communication. But that wouldn't be expected. It just hurts. I go through ups and downs of being angry, then being sad and depressed. I get so angry that SH would leave me during pregnancy- that's pretty much a shit thing to do. Leave me and my newborn to fend for ourselves.
he knows what kind of home I was brought up in... my SD is a very DIFFICULT man. And I have no choice but to stay with him for the time being until I can move. He keeps no food in the house and currently, I have a 17 year old brother, 15yo sister, and 6 yo brother living here. I can't afford to buy food for the household and he refuses too. He leaves til late night (I go to bed around 11 and he isn't home yet)... so he's obviously going on dates making sure HE eats, but not the kids. I'll see my baby brother snacking on CEREAL!!!!!!! OH and dad has already threatened to throw me out once... because some ppl were coming to the house and he wanted me out by 9am. I wasn't out at that exact time and he blew up at me.

Then there's my effin punk ass 17yo brother... whom I practically RAISED!!!! Ok... I am 27 and I had to watch him every day since infancy. I hate him. His motto is, if he isn't making someone's day miserable, he isn't happy. He purposely harasses me and the kids. Purposely instigates fights and tries to bully any and everyone. He's a steroided up asshole and my mom has already disowned him as a son. There's no shortage of him calling me a C**t, F***** b*tch, shut the **** up... you get the picture. He is also violent. But pops won't call the cops because he's scared of CPS. You see, my brother is so bad that he made false claims to CPS against my dad. This led to 5 of my siblings being taken away by CPS (there's 8 kids in my family). Anyway, my dad doesn't want to deal with any of that. One day, brother decides to REALLY get to everyone. He thinks my sister took his food and grabs her arm to where she ends up with bruises. All dad does is yell at him. I walk into the kitchen a few minutes later and he starts yelling at me, what are you staring at. He pushes until he gets a response and I said I was staring at him and he yells at me to shut up. He threatens, and I quote, "I'm going to punch you in your stomach and kill that baby." OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG I just about lost it!!! And he was about to act on it! And does dad beat him or anything??? NO....
And for all you people who think spanking is wrong... I'm sorry but this kid needs to get his ass kicked. He was really going to punch my stomach.
And brother things he's so high and mighty telling me I'm not welcome in the house and "go back to your real father."

I've been putting out resumes all over with hopes of moving out of state but the only ones I'm getting are here in AZ... I don't want to stay here! My SD makes me feel anything but welcome, my brother is abusive, and SH is here and I need to get away from him.
My mom is the MOST indecisive person. She's still in TX being absolutely unproductive, with claims she's going to rent a house in CO but put your money where your mouth is. I can't go off of just words. One minute it's CO, next minute it's TX, the next it's NE... Then back to CO. I feel so trapped... I dread life right now for me and my baby. I haven't been able to get to a dr since I've been in AZ...