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BM's unusual FIRST streak of niceness - somewhat nice but unsettling

Mrs Katch 22's picture

Submitted by Mrs Katch 22 on Thu, 02/21/2008 - 5:15pm

It all started a few weeks ago when BM came to our door to talk about benefits and stuff going on with SD. She mentioned some things and said that SD said that someone said that BM's and SM's usually don't get along. BM said that I was never DH's wife (DH was there too) so it's cool and that I shouldn't hesitate to call her for anything. This is a TOTAL 180 from everything she's ever said or done...her "I don't believe in stepfamilies...she'll always just be his wife, not your stepmom...and I don't want to deal with any third parties."

So, that was that, I'm pregnant, so it gave me *some* peace.

Then, when we called SD to tell her the sex of the baby, BM texted me (DH told her to text me if anything because his phone doesn't get all text messages) saying "congratulations, the fun is just beginning."

Then, yesterday was the eclipse. She called me for the first time ever to tell me some superstition and that I should do something to protect the baby...I may not believe it, but she thought I should know.

So, I'm wondering "WHAT THE HELL GOT INTO HER?" She's going against everything she's ever said and done. DH probably admires her now for stepping up and maturing, and probably looks at me as the bitchy one for not welcoming it..I don't trust her.

Maybe she knows that our baby is coming soon..and being nice so DH doesn't take her back to court to reduce the support? Maybe she's genuinely changed? Maybe she's trying to be nice to get on DH's good side? She's always wanted to get back with him...I thought that maybe she realized there isn't a chance since we just recently got married and now we're having a kid...but all I can do is speculate...It's nice, somewhat peaceful, but unsettling. I just don't know. Usually DH and I refer to her as so and so's mom..but he made the mistake of sayin "what did ____ say?" I looked at him and said "we're not on cool terms like that, it's still so and so's mom" I know that may sound immature, but it keeps its distance...less personal yah know.

What do you think? I'm just gonna roll with it so see what evolves, but I can't help but wonder.

Comments

Conflicted's picture

Submitted by Conflicted on Thu, 02/21/2008 - 6:52pm

I say enjoy it while it lasts but realize that it won't last forever. I wrote to you under "I'm a great ex-wife".

steppie1999's picture

Submitted by steppie1999 on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 9:27am

It's the goodness in you that makes you want to trust that BM has turned over a new leaf but I have to warn you from personal experience that it could just be the "calm before the storm". These "storms" increase in intensity and fury while the "calm" diminishes as time goes on.
I hope that I am wrong in your situation and that you're one of the lucky ones that BM has changed her attitude.

Mrs Katch 22's picture

Submitted by Mrs Katch 22 on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 10:37am

any examples of the calm before the storm you'd like to share? i really wonder what's going on in that funky head of hers.

Mrs Katch 22's picture

Submitted by Mrs Katch 22 on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 10:34am

we saw BM yesterday at one of SD's performances. It was awkward. I wasn't nice like I was on the phone...but we (DH and I) were civil....she avoided eye contact, the only time we really talked was when SD came down after the performance...then when her mom started talking about my pregnancy (only a few comments), she looked off in space and zoned out....who knows. Maybe the thought of us being there was already uncomfortable....I stil don't think she's as happy as her text messaged seemed about the pregnancy..but oh well.

Calm before the storm...lol, it's probably that.

gertrude's picture

Submitted by gertrude on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 11:14am

MY SD's BM was always sweetness and light to me. She hasn't said anything rude to my face, ever. (I haven't spoken to her in two years now, SD is over 20, so I haven't had to). When DH and I started dating - SD told me how wonderful her Mom was. I even had BM over for two big SD events (before we were married, HS graduation and 16th b-day). Ok - so she was scoping - as soon as we were married, DH began to get the calls for cash. It was always something. She was totally trying to access all of my resources so she could burn through them like she has destroyed all things. Sweet, caring - um NO. Life sucking leech? - um YES!

sarahbernheart's picture

Submitted by sarahbernheart on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 12:19pm

but carry a big stick, I hope the BM intentions are honorable, but it is like being bitten once you are nervous about being bitten again, enjoy the peace but keep your bullshit detector on!!

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”