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Annoyed with these kids All The Time!

Morganda2174's picture

First off I’m so happy that there is some place that I can go and vent and have so many people that feel the Same way. I feel like my boyfriend of 3 almost 4 years just doesn’t get it when I say anything. He has two boys 6 and 7. When I first met them they were very little and playful and sweet didn’t give much issues was never in trouble. Till one day when we got the phone call that cps took his children from their mother due to the man she was seeing and the fact that their younger brother had been burnt by some type of object and was not getting medical treatment for the situation so the kids were taken and that’s when shit went down hill. They wouldn’t give him his children because he didn’t have lease in his name despite the fact that we were at the time living with my mother in a 4 bedroom home and one bedroom was empty and had everything they needed but that’s not the point. Fast forward 3 years and we finally get them out of the system no thanks to the mother and we now have the kids full time. I was excited I literally dream of being a mother but not like this. Now that we have his kids back we I have realized how much trauma was put into them due to the system failing to protect them they were abused and molested Nd it really put a number in on their attitudes towards everything and everyone. Now I feel bad because the kids that I thought I would truly grow to love because I fought so hard with my boyfriend to get them back from the state, and ended up being boys I can’t really stand half the time. I understand Trama as a kid because I been throw similar things but I did not act like them in any way. On top of that their mother doesn’t help at all she doesn’t do shit to discipline or correct her children. The main reason for me feeling this way is number one their attitudes like I swear they talk back always have some smart shit to say they don’t listen they fight over EVERYTHING AND don’t stop when you tell them too and nothing works taking toys away they don’t care take tv or games they don’t care the way they see it is we will get it back eventually. I’ve gone so far as to threaten to throw them away despite the money spent nope no budge. Also took starting slowly taking their Christmas gifts  away. Nope. Nothing they just might get nothing for Christmas honestly. They are disrespectful to women and they are also fighting at school with other people’s children all the time and I mean full on fist fights and injuring other people kids and lying about it all. Also be nasty little boys to little girls at school too.  They also throw little girl fits all the time when they don’t get their way and they LIE 24/7 and think they are believable lies. They pee the bed all the time and I know this is something to expect from a child but they sneak drinks at night when we tell them no and Fight with us to wear pull-ups they destroyed BRAND NEW mattresses that now smell like nothing but piss and I have to wash their clothes twice each time because they are throwing their pee clothes in the hamper of regular clothes and not telling us everytime they pee the bed.  We went as far as to put a lock on the fridge they still get into shit!! One of his sons thinks it’s funny to piss and shit on himself don’t even get me started on that one. They even whipped shit on a mirror one time in a local bathroom and we were told by supervisors that their mother did nothing to clean or assist with the situation and the little one that did it thought it was funny. They are so rudely mannered and they listen on front of their dad but as soon as he goes to work and I have them they ignore everything he told them to do. My nieces don’t do half the shit they do and on top of that his oldest is a perv he always tries to touch me in inappropriate ways when I’m laying down or not paying attention. He also tried looking down my shirt and just things that freak me out! He does little sneaky moves to try and touch my breasts or my ass and he’s  only fucking 7! It’s gotten to a point where I feel bad but I tell him to always give me space and keep his distance from me. I feel like I can’t show that motherly love or attention and I can’t like snuggle with him because of the actions he’s tried to take with me knowing they are inappropriate on top of that it disgusts me because I’m an adult his father has talked him about it because his father has even seen it first hand he still tries his bullshit tho. I feel bad because my boyfriend does do a good job and addressing and disciplining them when it comes to any wrong actions they take towards me or anyone or thing at that matter but they seem to not get the hint no matter how much they are in trouble as soon as their dad turns his back they ignore what he said and what was told even if they know they will get in huge trouble! !! What do I do!? Any suggestions???! Has anybody else ever felt with boys that do half these things!? Is it normal for boys to act in such way!? I’m so drained and tired and annoyed I don’t even want to deal with them they play and I stay in the other room and listen for trouble so I don’t have to deal which is bad because it’s depressing and it getting to a point where I wish we only had them part time so I could breathe. 

Comments

fourbrats's picture

for children who have been abused and molested to behave this way. They also spent three years in the foster care system and I doubt it was a completely pleasant experience. These are traumatized children. Taking Christmas away isn't going to fix that. They need counseling, evaluations, play therapy, and months of attention and understanding. They need praise for the improvements they make as well as firm boundaries with appropriate discipline attached. 

Were they properly transitioned into your home? Have you all gone to counseling together? Has your boyfriend spoken to social workers and such and gotten a complete case file? He needs to know exactly what went on with his boys and then go from there. 

Morganda2174's picture

When I say it was such a long hard horrible heartbreaking fight for these kids I mean that. They didn’t feel me and him were fit enough at the time and everytime we thought we had them back they kept giving them to his BM who would keep getting them taken due to just the most messed up situation don’t even get me started on her. My boyfriend was bashed for years by the courts because we couldn’t afford our own place and we were living with my mother and they wanted to see a lease. My mother was also severely sick so she needed us to stay with her until my brother could finally take her. Once we finally got our place is when we automatically got the kids but we also had to get a car and other things. We literally started from nothing and worked our way up. Before the kids were take. We had them regularly no problems because despite us not having a lease they still had everything but the state didn’t see it that way. My boyfriend is a beautiful father They do see counselors once a week and we do family counseling we have been looking into classes and things for them to learn socially how to cope and such but the boys take it in when they are there and when they leave it back to their normal actions. I love them I really do but that doesn’t mean I can stand them. The system really failed us and them they gave the mother too many chances and us not enough until it was too late. Now that the boys are in a stable home with us it’s been hard dealing with them. We do praise them for their good doings but the thing with them is they run a mile with it and the next thing you know we are back to square one. 

Harry's picture

If you leave.  You are in a no win situation, it’s only going to get worst as they get older. 

Jen_Jen's picture

I am so sorry the children have had such a horrific start in life. I am also amazed you have  been there for all of them. Unfortunately, I have no advice for you, other than to say I would not be able to deal with one tenth of what you are going through. Stay strong and take best care of you.