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morethanibargainedfor's picture

Like I really needed more drama to add to my life. This is absolutely insane and I'm ready to crack!

BM has been harassing us lately like crazy. She even went to SO's boss and told him that he doesn't pay his child support (not true. He pays her every single month).

Long story short, they used to go through an agency. SO would pay the agency, agency would pay her. He switched jobs early 2013 and BM said that she didn't want to go through the agency anymore, so we said ok, and assumed that she told the agency that we weren't using them anymore.

Fast forward almost 2 years later, and we go back to the agency because we are tired of being falsely accused of not paying. We ask to re-open our file. They inform SO that the file was never closed, and he is $8000+ is arrears. He explains that he has been paying her directly. No biggie...he has to write a letter saying that he has been paying her directly and she just has to say yes that's true and everything is fine. And she will actually owe him money because hes been paying her $100 more than he has to. so seems simple right? NOT!!!!!
We are in process of getting a restraining order against BM. We sent her a registered letter last night stating that she is not to contact us. Well shes going to get it tonight. She's gonna be super pissed. And when the agency asks her if SO has been paying, I will guarantee that she will say no. And the guy from the agency said if that's the case then we will be SOL. Its her word against his. So basically we are effed and are going to have to pay a little over $8,000 to this piece of shit poor excuse for a woman.

I really don't know how much longer I can deal with this......


lillfiredog's picture

OMG! This is something my husband's ex would totally do! On purpose....
What about the withdrawls and cheques or whatever you paid her with? is that proof?
Jeez, I would snap.

zerostepdrama's picture

Please tell me you had proof that you paid her....

Also how did they (CS) not try to contact him for these past 2 years looking for him to pay support?

morethanibargainedfor's picture

Well that's how we might get out of it. The agency never called him because BM never called them to ask where he money was. The case manager said that might be the only thing that saves us, is that she never once in 2 years called them to say she didn't get her money. We have no proof of paying her really except for him taking the cash out of his bank account and a handful of texts from BM saying "thanks for dropping off the money". SO also dropped money off to her a few times and had a friend in the car at the time, so not sure if they would take that as proof or not.

DaizyDuke's picture

MAYBEEEE she won't sign for the registered letter and thus won't see that you are filing a restraining order and you can get her to sign the statement before she goes all nuclear holocaust on you?

Seems like any scumbag DH and I have ever sent a registered letter to, it always comes back unable to deliver because they are never around to sign or refuse to sign.

oneoffour's picture

My DHs ex always got her money through the state. DH hated handing his money over to the state so they can hand it on to her. I told him this is the best way to deal with it. HE hands the money over and they deal with her. One time 'her money' was 1 week late. She called DH and was not happy. He just referred her to the state. Less stress all around.

I hope this works out for you. I know someone whose husband did the same as your DH. He had to pay back another $5K that he had already paid him.