Advice Needed - New Baby coming soon
My first baby is due the middle of October.
Over the last few years things have been very rocky with SD15. One day she loves us the next day she hates us.
When she found out I was pregnant she was really excited and wanted to be at our house all the time (Which was really annoying), but then one day she just suddenly refused to talk to DH and he hasn't talked to her in a couple of months. Theres years of issues with BM brainwashing her etc.
I'm over it and I don't get involved anymore, I don't talk about her, I don't encourage DH to call her etc.
My question is this.....If by some miracle she doesn't contact him or talk to him as this baby grows up, what do we tell the baby? Do we tell it that it has a half sister?
How do you explain that to a kid "You have a sister but she hates us so you probably will never meet her!"??
Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?
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Hell SD17 lived with us for 2
Hell SD17 lived with us for 2 years.. and BS5 has about a zero relationship with her. She moved out about 8 months ago and he never asks about her, never talks to her, he honestly could care less about her. He honestly gets more upset if one of DHs friends stops by and he misses them, than he would if he didn't see SD. He just genuinely does.not.care.
I wouldn't even "tell" your child anything. I agree with Step.. kids are smart. Your bio will figure it out eventually by simply observing the dynamic.
We're in this boat. We don't
We're in this boat. We don't bring it up in our house, BD doesn't know anything (she's going to be 2 this month), and we'll tell her age appropriate facts as she grows older if she ever gets curious about it. MIL does bring it up but to BD it's just her nanny's other grandkid.
Thank you ladies! I feel much
Thank you ladies! I feel much better now. My plan was to basically just not mention her but I was feeling a little guilty about it. I don't want our child to resent us when they get older because we didn't tell them about another sister, but I feel a little better about it now. It's not our choice for her to be in the babys life. She made the choice herself by cutting off contact with us.
I don't think that you need
I don't think that you need to go as far as not saying that she is his sister. Kids accept what they grow up with he can know that SD is his sister but for him it will just be normal that he doesn't see SD much, he will just accept that is how life is. If he asks who is in a picture tell him it is his sister and that she has a different mommy to him and she lives with her mommy. As he gets older if things are hostile between them he will soon work out that SD isn't a very nice person.
Sibling relationships are not all models of best friends. If I were you I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure while he is younger he isn't exposed to open hostility.
My step children pulled some
My step children pulled some really rotten things shortly after my daughter was born. They got together with their mom and filed a fake CPS report.... that was itfor me... iI told my husband I was DONE. Packed my daughter up every time they came and stayed elsewhere. Since then, I have also had a second child. Skids don't really know either of our children.
Honestly, I could care less, as my kids grow, I will tell them a bit about what happened and how I had to disconnect and also how I had to protect them from the situation. My husband wants for.them to all grow up together and be close. All I can think is, the eff our kids are going to be influenced by ur kids. IDK how my kids will feel about it in the future, we will deal with it then. But for now, I choose to protect MY CHILDREN, I would be careful, some kids can be really psycho. Just speaking from experience. I wouldn't allow skids to be around my children without me...not even with just DH =/