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Stupid Stupid Stupid! What would you do?

MommyT's picture

SS13 was just given back phone privileges after he was looking up inappropriate things on his phone. We told him that we would be checking his phone every day. So... last week he goes and plays at his friend’s house. That night we go to check his phone and see that he sent a pic of himself looking all gangster holding a pellet gun (looks completely real) to some girl. She didn’t respond positively. DH immediately calls BM because he is trying to be on the same page as her and guess what her response is: well don’t yell at him? 

Um.... really? That’s all you have to say? If that girl decides to go to the principal with that pic, he could be in serious trouble. And her only response is don’t yell at him.

well... we are not Disney parent so his cell phone privileges were revoked, he can’t go in his friends house anymore, and no touching guns until he completes a gun safety course because in the pic the gun was pointing at his face.

i just get so frustrated with BM because there is zero discipline from her end, so we are constantly the bad parent. I think we are more strict than most parents but we also give a lot to our kids when they work hard and make good choices.

ss13 is screwing up and BM is not helping him at all. I feel like we are losing him to the dark side. Anyone else feel this way?

Comments

tog redux's picture

This was our situation too. BM let SS do whatever he wanted with no rules or accountability. He PAS’d out at 15 and we didn’t hear from him or see him for 3 years. Now he’s back, he’s 19 and he’s a total Mama’s Boy who has failed to launch. He lives with BM, no school, no work, only unrealistic fantasies for future plans. 

Take heart. I’m sure your SS will eventually refuse to come over too. 

thiscantbenormal's picture

BM was okay with her older son who has depression, bipolar disorder, and ODD teach my "autistic" stepson who I can only best describe as schizophrenic with intellectual disability that is possibly bipolar who frequently talked about killing people and pets how to shoot a bb gun.

MommyT's picture

I have diesengaged in regards to sports and school but when it comes to behavior and respect then I am involved. There are four other kids in this house and I will not allow ss bringing his bm’s bad habits into my house. DH is finally realizing that ss is playing both sides and isn’t as perfect as he originally thought. I wish I could help ss not follow in his bm’s loser footsteps but I think he is already lost. Very sad. He used to be a good kid.