So, lately I've realized that the fate of my marriage pretty much rests on who's needs are more important and therefore should be put first - mine or my children's. Being that I've never been a selfish parent, once this choice became clear it was a no brainer which I would choose.

So now I'm just trying to figure out how I'm supposed to do this? Part of the reason I'm married in the first place is because I wanted my children to have the benefit of two parents under one roof, but now I'm not even sure how "beneficial" this has been for my children. I know DH has benefitted and I know I have (even if DH doesn't do as much as he should, he DOES HELP. Being a single parent was hard with one child, & now I'll have 2!

The other problem is, despite my decision I DO love my DH, and I know he loves me, so of course that makes it hard to walk away. Oh, and of course the fact that I wouldn't actually be "walking away" at all, but rather would have to put DH out since I am actually the sole owner of our family home! (Guess that means I'll have to start paying someone to do lawn maintenance & handywork around the house again too.)

Anyway, I digress. The bottom line is that lately my observations of DH's interactions with my BS5 have resembled mine with my own SF growing up & I vividly remember hating him & resenting my mother for many years for allowing him to treat me the way he did & I definitely DON'T want that for my son, so I'm out.