I am failing on so many levels
Two my children BS17 And SD17 have a difficult time getting their laundry done. Both of them can get smelly. My BS17 I tell him he stinks and to go do a better job in the shower and he does. He comes back smelling great. My SD17 walks into a room and the whole room smells because of her. We can't leave her bedroom door open or it stinks up the whole house. My poor BD15 who shares a room with her is always spraying the room down. She won't do her laundry and makes excuse for it not getting down. She is perfectly fine wearing dirty clothes. She complains she never gets asked out on dates and I think it has something to do with her smell. She will hug me and I have to go change my shirt because it smells like BO. Her half of the room is awful. You can't see carpet beneath all the crap on the floor. I love her and she is for the most part a great kid. Anyway her laundry day was on Friday she was told if she did not get her laundry done she would loose her phone until her next successful laundry day. So Friday came and went and she did not get any laundry done. We have told her she can trade days with another child or make arrangements with us for another day. We let all the kids have their phones for work so she had her phone yesterday (she is a CNA who works three 8 hour shifts a week) So this morning I had to put my foot down and say no phone. After she threw her phone at my head I threw it down the hall. It seems to be ok. She tried to run away with her phone and I told her to hand it to me and get her butt in the car her SB was driving and get to school. She got in the car but she is telling everyone I just threw her phone and forgot the fact she threw it at my head. My husband is being wishy washy on everything and I feel like a complete failure this morning. I am so sick of being the bad guy all the time. Her mom is the cool one (who only has visitation one weekend a month) She has two Grandma's that she can complain to who believe she can do no wrong. Now she contacted her birth mom ( my husband and her mother adopted her at birth). My husband never makes a punishment clear to the kids so he comes across as the nice guy. I come in dead last in people to respect in her eyes. But yet I do everything for her good and bad. I go to every concert ever parent teacher conference ever doctor appointment. I make sure all her needs are met but I also have to be the disciplinarian. I hate this!!!!