Am I right or wrong?
Two of my three skids are a mess. We've had numerous discussions with BM about their dirty clothes and smell. The schools have all had discussions with BM about them going to school dirty and smelly.
BF and I have made it painfully clear to them that we do not find this acceptable. But yet, they manage to still walk around like that at times. Yes, they do get spoken to and yes, we do make them go back and shower again, get out of the car and go back in to brush their teeth or put on deodorant despite their claim that they used it already. (obviously lying about that!)
A few months ago I told BF that I was not going to go places with them anymore when they smell. (i.e. straight to dinner at a diner or pizza place after picking them up for the weekend.) I'm tired of other parents getting a whiff of them and looking at me like I'm the bad parent. The few times I caved in and went at BF's begging, it was horrible.
Well, a few weeks ago we go off to visit an old college friend of BF's. BF makes it very clear to the skids that they are to wear clean clothes and they must shower, use deodorant, etc. BF really wants me to go meet his friend. Begs me to please come. I don't want to disappoint him so I agree to go.
We get half way there when the oldest, who isn't smelly and dirty, notices that SD13 is wearing a dirty shirt. No, I didn't check her before we left, I put that responsibility on BF a long time ago when I got nowhere with this. By this point, I had also become painfully aware that one of them obviously did not put on deodorant. Turns out it was the same child who was wearing the dirty shirt. Yes, BF did yell at her for the dirty clothes, but he should have double checked before we left the house.
We did not have our own car and his friend met us at the station when we got in so there was no time to go to a drugstore. I was mortified, but BF wasn't getting too upset, so off we go to a restaurant. We stand in a crowded waiting area and this kid is stinking. People near her are obviously offended. I'm getting looks like I'm a bad parent again. BF also allowed her to sit next to his friend through the whole meal despite my very intent looks at him when we were sitting down.
When we got back home and had dropped the skids off with BM, I told BF that never again was I going out in public with these kids while they continued to stink and wear dirty clothes. I would never allow that with my own child so I'm certainly not going to take the blame for his kids bad hygiene.
BF seems terribly hurt that I'm objecting to going places with the kids. I don't think I should have to subject myself to the looks or to the smell. Nothing ruins a good meal or movie like BO. Am I being too bitchy?