OMG
So here we go again me and my ex just started back talking and I tell you I still care about him and whats even more funny is that he never told his family that we broke up. For those of you who do not know whats going on. I am 21 dating a guy who is 31 with 3 kids and 2 more that may notbe his and was debating on whether or not I should stay with him. Back into confusion I really miss him and our talks. I am trying to see other people but it seems like right now he is the only that is making the cut. I need some brutal honest from you guys dont hold back its the only way I am going to get over him. Im thinking maybe from people who have no reason to lie or have a bias opinion.....like my family. Give it to me straight what am I not seeing or what am I missing cause I still care for him deeply and still wants to be with him.Im screaming right now and pulling hair well maybe not my hair but AGHGHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP
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Disclaimer for any future
Disclaimer for any future posts. Notice this person asked for brutal honesty.
I'll be back later for my opinion after reading some of your old posts.
"Im 21 dating a guy who is 31
"Im 21 dating a guy who is 31 with 3 kids and 2 more that may notbe his and was debating on whether or not I should stay with him." :? Umm, why???? and ..... how is this working out for ya.
Your question is your answer. This guy is 31 with 3 know children and 2 that may not even be his .... all out of wedlock by how many BMs? .... and you want to have a future with this guy? :?
My dear, this guy has no substance, no character and is far, far, far from a quality individual. Sure, have one kid out of wedlock or with someone who is not of quality..... fine ..... but 5? :?
You are young and can have a life that is full or quality relationships. Why give up your future for this guy who has proven himeself to be without character and severly lacking in nearly every area that I would hope you would want a person of quality to share your life.
You wanted brutally honest ......
Young lady, you have an electrical problem. You have a short circuit between your brain and your crotch.
That tingly feeling that he invokes in you is not love. Anyone with a twig and giggle berries can give you the tingle. Find someone who takes your breath away not only physically but because they are of stellar character and can be a quality partner to build a life with.
Disclaimer .... I am not related to you.
However, I want a great life for you. Give yourself a chance for that great life.
Put this guy far behind you and don't check your rear view mirror.
I met my wife when we were both in college. I was 4yrs post divorce and in the last semester of my 11yr undergrad plan and she was in her first semester of college out of HS. I was 29 and she was 18 with a 15mo old son. I made a mistake when I was 23 by marrying my XW. My bride made a mistake when she was 16. The mistake was not her son, the mistake was the SpermDonor. I am not saying to stay away from men with children. I am saying stay away from men without character. My SS's SpermIdiot went on to spawn three more out-of-wedlock children by two more mothers. He can't afford to support any of them. Lives in a rental house owned by his parents and pays no rent. My wife and I raise his oldest (our only) and the younger three are raised by SpermGrandMa. SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa pay my SS's CS.
This is who you will be marrying if you get papers with Mr 5 out-of-wedlock children by X other mothers. You will never have your own life, you will be dictated to my the BabyMamas. Any children you have with this guy YOU will have to raise and support alone .... even if you are married to Mr 5 Out-of-Wedlock children by X other mothers. Every dime he ever makes will go to the BabyMamas and to support his 5 out-of-wedlock spawn. To him .... you are just another womb of opportunity. Don't cheapen yourself for this guy.
Like my SS's SpermDonor was my wife's mistake, this guy is yours. He has proven this. Not just once but 5x. One time .... fine .... that is a mistake ...... twice .... maybe a coincidence ..... 5x ...... this guy has a flashing neon sign on his forehead saying ...... if you are person of quality .......... STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME ...... I AM A CLUELESS DIPSHIT!!!!!
Good luck and best regards,
All IMHO of course.
And ..... listen to your parents.
Well put, Rags!! IMHO, you
Well put, Rags!!
IMHO, you will need a lot of life experience before committing to raising children (step or not).
Give yourself time to do some soul searching, travel, start/finish school, whatever ....before you make a huge life altering decision.
I know it is tempting to commit because you seem to have a connection with him, but think about the next 6 years, think about spending all your $ and time on someone else (skids or Bf) and the think about how cheated you might feel.
It is difficult to be alone, but it is more difficult to wake up to a life that hurts you everyday.
Be well
OMG this guy seems to be
OMG this guy seems to be spreading his seed wherever he goes. 5 freaking kids??? Do you know how much child support he will pay for the next 18 years? You wanna be responsible for sharing that burden with him 50/50? RUN LIKE HELL.
Brutal honesty...you're only
Brutal honesty...you're only 21 years old. My son is that age. He is a junior in college. I can't even imagine him considering dating someone with even one child, much less (maybe) 5!
Sweetie, you can fall in love with a man with much less baggage as easily as you can fall in love with this guy. He has life experiences that you haven't even begun to have yet. Plus, it really bothers me that he can't even keep up with how many kids he has. That's a pretty serious character defect.
Run! Hold out for Mr. Right...not just Mr. Right now.