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OT phone contacts.

MissK03's picture

This may be a little off topic but, it kind of annoys me in a way. 

I have a ton of contacts in my phone because of work. Most have first and last name or first with the company the contact works for so I can keep track of who they are.  All my close friends and family are just their first names.  

Example, I have 15 contacts in my phone with SO's first name but, I have him as just his first name. 

Now, SO has me in his phone under my first and last name. All his close friends, family, skids, and BM are just their first names. This annoys me and I don't know why. 

It's been like that since we have been together and we are almost at 5 years now. BM and I have the same name but different spelling (different first initial) so maybe to not get confused in the beginning but they barely speak now only when she is in one of her attention seeking waves. To me it's not worth it to say anything because it's just a phone contact. 

How would you feel? 


BethAnne's picture

I am not sure it would bother me, but if it did I would just ask my husband to change it. I know it might not make the most sense in the world, but sometimes small irritations add up. I am sure he would be fine with changing it as long as I didn't make a big deal of it or start blaming my husband or accusing him of still keeping BM as more important on the phone than me. I would just say that it is my issue but I would really apprechiate if he could change it for me. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Change your name in his phone to Firstname Wifey for Lifey  LOL! 

I don't know how I am in DH's phone honestly. I have a crazy amount of contact with all kinds of thing "Sara - Abby's Mom" , "Joe- Workname", Some friends have first names, some have both. DH I had in my phone with first and last when we were dating. I updated him to my emergency contact after we got married and tacked -Husband at the end so that if I am ever in an accident they call him. 

tog redux's picture

My DH has my name like that too - I do have a different last name than he does, but as far as I know, he doesn't know anyone else with my first name.  It's just how he likes it - he has SS in there under both names as well, even though he has an unusual first name and shares DH's last name.

I'm like you and have family and close friends with only their first name.

BTW, we've been together 10.5 years, married for 7.  I wouldn't worry about it.

MissK03's picture

Yeah it's nothing to really stress over and if I asked him to change it he 100% would change it. It's just one of things that's like meh.

tog redux's picture

I always thought it was a bit weird that my DH does it, but since he does it to absolutely everyone, I didn't take it personally. 

BethAnne's picture

If he wouldn't mind changing it, then I would just ask him to change it. No point in living with an irritation - however minor -  if it can easily be fixed. 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, I agree - next time a friend calls him, say, "Hey! Why am I in there with both names and Frank only has his first name?" in a light-hearted way.  It's probably just like that because he had it that way when you first started dating and he never changed it.

Picardy III's picture

True. Soon after we were married, DH posted a profile photo on social media - him with the SSs when they were very young. His wedding ring (still married to BM then) was very prominent in the photo, though not intentionally.
I stewed a little on it for a few days, then finally told him it bugged me. He immediately took the photo down and apologized ... the ring had never crossed his mind.

I think most men really don't notice these apparent symbols and slights the way we do (and manipulative BMs can certainly take advantage).

MissK03's picture

Ooooo I would have stewed on that for a few days myself. SO hasn't posted anything on social media since his separation in 2011. His profile pic is of SD13 when she was 4. 

missginger's picture

I would let it go. My DH has me as first and last name from before we got married! And I have him listed as 'Mr. Sexy Pants"

Winterglow's picture

I have absolutely no idea how I'm listed in dh's phone. It just never occurred to me to look! Lol

MissK03's picture

When I first met him I had him under his first name and where I met him because I didn't know his last name LOL. Once we got serious I just took the place I met him off. Should have kept that! 

Picardy III's picture

My DH has everyone (including me, SKs, and BM) with both first and last name, or some variation like "Mom and Dad Landline". So do I, even for my immediate family.

Most likely your DH entered your contact in his phone as first/last name when you were dating, and never thought to change it. And never changed BM's to something more arms-length, just because he never thought of it.

I can see why it would get under your skin, though. Are you first in his Favorites contact list? That says more, IMO.

Harry's picture

DW.  Under AAA name. So she was first in phone book 

DPW's picture

I don't understand why this would be a big deal. I never change my contacts after putting them into my phone so how they go in is how they would stay. If SO came to me with this complaint, I'm not sure I could take it seriously, if I'm honest. 

Iamwoman's picture

Gosh, now I'm self conscious!

I don't pay much attention to how I enter contacts, so I just checked my phone.

I had DH in there with first and last name, and some random auto-detailing business guy with same first name as my DH under as just his first name. Go figure. Well, I just deleted the auto-detailing business number as I can't remember the last time I used it.

I wouldn't take it personally. My DH and I have been together for 9 years and your blog is the reason I noticed this.

Your DH probably isn't aware. Just take his phone and change it around for him.

Picardy III's picture

Another observation: I often need to share DH's contact info with others, and like to use the iPhone 'share contact' text option. 
Best that the recipient gets the contact as "DHFirstName DHLastName" - not just DHFirstName, or anything embarrassing :D.

1dad4kids's picture

This wouldn't bother me. But both my DH and I have pet names in our phones for each other and it also shows up when we email. So if we cc each other in emails our pet names show not our real names. DH's lawyer got a kick out of the in the beginning lol

Livingoutloud's picture

My brother has everyone with first and last names, even our parents. Instead of dad he has first name last name. It doesn't mean he loves our dad less. Its just how his contacts are saved. Not worth to be upset about. Of course you can also ask your DH to change it if it bothers you