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Trying hard to like stepson

Metal Mike's picture

I'm having a real hard time dealing with 15 yr old step son that acts like he's 5....no friends and no drive for anything but video games...bad hygiene ...try to get him to lift weights with me because he is very thin and picky about food. .he could live on cereal..There were also two 20 something stepsons that were thrown out because they never worked had bad hygiene and hasseld their mom for money to get weed...they didnt dig me coming into the picture... . they decided to buck up on me and i got locked up for assault and battery ..not proud of it all...my wife stood by me and now the two 20 something's hate her and me of course...life is way better but need some advice to have a good relationship with the 15 year old...Help!!!! I believe he has a chance to excel in life

 

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EveryoneLies's picture

I might be biased because I live with a boy  on the spectrum full time. It is quite often the personal hygiene is an issue. My SS is 12 and I can’t tell you how many times I have to chase him to follow through his morning personal grooming routine. If you do care about him getting better personal hygiene the only way to do it is to set clear rules and really follow through. It is very exhausting though because it will likely take months or even years for them to finally get that in their daily routine (that is if your ss is on the spectrum of course)

Other things you mentioned also make him sound like he has ASD. Have you guys considered taking him to get diagnosed?

on the other hand, if he is not on the spectrum, I don’t know what else you can do XD. Teenagers can be hard to deal with. You really can’t force someone who doesn’t care to care. 

 

Metal Mike's picture

Yes we are getting him checked next week .

I'm from the 80s when my friends and I were always playing in bands , hanging at the parks .. mall..using pay phones...maybe im outta touch..I just want him to do good in life.. His older brothers were not good roll models and his dad is a waste..it bums me out that i can smell his body order 3 feet away when he reaches for a cereal bowl.. I checked his toothbrush 32 days in a row and it was always dry...i lay laws down but he lies about showering.  And he depends on his mom to wash and comb his hair.. Thanks again

Metal Mike's picture

His mother gets pushed around ..shes not even 5 feet tall..and she raised incels. .im about to just say fuck it .he just lied about showering again today.  I think he's gonna get dropped off at his drunk coke addict fathers tonight...im about done with this shit. His reality is video games..sleeps without sheets o. Bed refuses to wear new clothes..i have been trying for 3 yrs ..adios

Iamwoman's picture

Fifteen is pretty old to be forced to go to the gym or forced to do anything that isn’t directly related to schoolwork, getting a job, or basic respect and safety.

At fifteen, people basically are who they are already.

I would just set a good example for him and always invite him to the gym or anywhere else you’d like him to go. He will most likely turn you down every time, but never stop offering. He will remember your interest in him later in life and it will help.

Metal Mike's picture

Thanks for the feed back... When i was 12 i became obsessed with hygiene because of girls..became a rock musician at 13 had bon jovi hair lmao..maybe im old but i dont understand not wanting to be clean

Metal Mike's picture

As I said I'm not proud of the violence that happened but when 20 something's try to be gangsters and  hassle their sick mom for weed money and then push her.. I'm stepping in... She might be their Mother but she's my Old lady and if anyone has a problem with it they can suck it.... As far a the 15 yr old I'm still not giving up. He's bright ... The two oldest have a drunk for a dad and 15 yr old has a drug addict/drunk for a father ... I don't roll they way even slightly...thanks again for the feed back. Both good and bad. I'll take it