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When stepkids are here vs just my kids

Blended4213's picture

Let's just say things are easier and less stressful. Luckily the kids are now going to part time in person school. But mornings are still a challenge. I feel like I run a daycare with kids who are really annoying only I don't get paid. Examples of just my kids vs his:

Just my kids: they get up, take care of themselves, are quiet, and don't bother me. BD12 plays on her phone quietly while waiting for the bus.
BD6 plays quietly with her toys.

His kids: SS13 comes into same room with BD12 and starts talking about the game she is playing, now I get to hear all about this dumb game, haven't had my coffee yet, just woke up, they are right next to me in the kitchen so I can't escape it. SS13 distracts BS9 who is trying to eat breakfast by all this talk about the game. I guess my kids know better than to talk about these games in common areas or play them together here, and will do this in their rooms sometimes but not around me because they know it bothers me. Also, they are not obsessed with them like the stepkids.

SS8 starts picking on the cat, looking over SS13 shoulder at him play his dumb game, starts chasing BD6 around. I tell him to entertain himself. He goes to his room and starts saying BD6 name hoping she will come play with him. She tells him basically leave me alone, I'll play with you later when you quit bothering me. 

I'm trying to now enjoy time to myself but am I guess feeling sorry for myself that for the inevitable future I have to deal with this stuff. Minor annoyances, I know, but to me it is a big deal. Even short time periods with his kids are so difficult and are not a good start to the day. Sometimes I really don't know what I got myself into, even though I know they could be so much worse, they really put me into a bad mood and stress me out.


justmakingthebest's picture

Is there anyway that your DH can be the one to handle morning routines when his kids are there?

Blended4213's picture

And I work the late shift. So he helps out with all the kids in the afternoon. I think this is just part of what I signed up for now. I can't tell him to have his kids stay with TM in the morning, nor would I want to deal with her picking them up. I don't want to pay for day care costs. And the kids' schools are closer to our house than TM. I can't really get out of watching them, but I'm hoping that they will adjust to things as they get used to going back to school and possibly be less of a nuisance? One can hope. But probably not. His kids are just so different from mine and not in a good way. 

tog redux's picture

So then - you and DH come up with house rules that all kids have to follow and enforce them. 

Survivingstephell's picture

If you can get on the same page as DH , put a new rule in place. For each hard morning, the kids go to bed early by 15 minutes. It puts the results onto  the kids to be responsible and they suffer/choose their own consequences.  


Blended4213's picture

I like that idea. Bad behavior needs consequences, and it gives me a bit more feeling of control. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I don't get how some parents don't teach their kids not to be annoying, and then wonder why others are annoyed and don't want to be around them. The last time i went to a restaurant with SO and his 10-year-old (almost 11!) the boy sat next to SO and poked and slapped his arm for 10 minutes straight. Then proceeded to make high pitched noises for the rest of the time. When SO and I were holding hands in the lobby, this almost junior high aged kid grabbed SO's hand from mine and started doing a little dance with him. He would tear all the straw wrappers into little pieces and throw them around the table like confetti. Not one single correction from the parent. He literally had no idea why nobody ever wanted to sit next to the kid, either. 

futurobrillante99's picture

Your SS's behavior is ridiculous. Glad you stopped going places in public with him.