New to this
Im really here to vent and hear others stories, does it ever get better?????? ....k so where do I start. My partner and I have been together 2 years, he has a 8yo son from previous relationship and we have a son who is 4m. He has his son every weekend. He works 12-14 hr days and picks up DS on Friday and his him all weekend. We don't live together on weekends when he has DS.
Here's the problem;
As our son is still a little baby, I have asked that he split his time on weekends with both the boys. As it is currently, he spends Friday - Sunday with his son. Doesn't even bother coming over to see us unless I ask or plan something. But with covid and everything, I'm careful to take my infant out...
.His 8yo son has communication difficulties and behavioural issues.He can't talk very well. He can say works like dad, eat, no, yes and then the rest is basically gibberish. He throws a tantrum every time he doesn't get something his way, he expects a toy every time we go to the shop and will only eat McDonalds. He will turn his nose up and yell EWWW if we're in a restaurant. He will scream and cry if we're going in the opposite direction that he wants to go. He rolls his eyes and doesn't respond if you even try talk to him nicely, His dad tries to teach him but he refuses to listen. He isn't self suffient at all, he can't even put his shoes on the right feet or do them up :S As he is a "weekend dad" he usually just gives in. But I've had enough and started calling him out on it. if he can't teach his oldest son the proper behaviour WITH consequences how will he teach his youngest? Consequences for bad behaviour teach children how to behave properly. Simple manners is important I thought?
as he really only has 2 days a week free, I asked him to split the time between the boys. The baby goes to bed well before he gets home so he's very rarely there to help me and I would just like a little help on weekends, and I'm sorry to say but I would like the help without his terror of a son being there screaming no in my face. Im a FTM and it's giving me anxiety.
His ex had a problem with this because she also loves to palm her 8yo off every weekend and holiday. It wasn't an issue before cos it was just the 2 of them but now he needs to spend time with both children equally. Do you think I am wrong? My baby doesn't ever want to go to him, doesn't really know him and vice versa! As his dad, he doesn't even know any of his cues. I just give up and take him cos I hate hearing the baby cry all the time when he carries him.
was my request wrong to ask him to spend more 1on1 with the baby too? I feel bad for asking him to split the time but I also don't because our son needs his dad too!
- A very sad anxious mom!!!