Sure, DH, I'll handle all the hard stuff while you go chasing after your adult kids again
I've posted before about DH's kids ordering him around. They punish him if he doesn't "obey." It's gotten MUCH worse since DH's sister has been having some significant medical issues.
Brief recap: DH's sister (Auntie) lives about five hours from us. DH's brother lives about five minutes from Auntie, and the brother has all power of attorney -- legal and health care. DH and skids are very close to Auntie, and I like her too. She's been wonderful to me. I have no problem with DH making the trip to help out as he needs to or wants to. Totally supportive.
But whatever DH does is not enough for his kids. I don't know if they want him to move there or what, but it all blew up (again) yesterday. Auntie has taken a turn for the worse, and although serious, not life threatening. DH for whatever reason decided not to go see Auntie last week when this happened. Kids when OFF on him yesterday.
So, to assuage his own guilt and to placate SD in particular, he decides to go see Auntie today. Ordinarily, this would be fine. BUT OUR DOG WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER YESTERDAY and we're doing xrays and meeting with the vet tomorrow. Doggy has lymphoma, which if untreated means he's gone in 4-6 weeks, and we're already past Week 1. So I'm not willing to delay tests and discussion with the vet until next week when DH returns from Auntieville. To make matters worse, we just lost another beloved dog a couple of months ago. I am a wreck.
I asked DH if he would put off his trip to Auntie's until Monday. He's not willing to do that, for reasons that don't make any sense to me. There is nothing urgent there, but there is here.
DH said he's afraid that I see him as weak and unable to stand up to his children. I suprised him when I told him that is exactly how I see him. It's not my business until it affects me, and this affects me to my core. He has allowed this to happen, and now he's paying for it and I'm paying for it too. I resent the hell out of it.
I will take care of my dog and make decisions without DH. I don't know how I will ever forgive this though. It's a real kick in the gut.