That's extremely immature... Like I get some kids have no filter... But at 12 you should no when not to be rude like that... I'm so sorry!!! Way to kick an eating disorder in the a** though!

(Also I super love your name on here!!!)

Good grief, that's something a 5 year old would innocently say... not a damn 12 year old. Do you think she says rude things to purposely be snarky, or she is just that immature and clueless?

My SSs love to chuckle and make weird faces when they see obese people. I always glare at them and tell them it's not nice to comment on a person's appearance. What they don't seem to remember is that both DH and BM were obese when they were younger. They both had bariatric surgery. BM is still heavy, but not like she was. I told DH he, of all people, should say something to his kids when they are rude about other people's weight. They don't know what those people are going through. I wouldn't be surprised if BM made fun of people because of their weight even though I'm sure she was made fun of.

My SSs also love to make fun of how their friends walk and talk. I tell them they're being jerks. I know kids are rude to one another, but I feel like adults shouldn't allow that sort of behavior.

I had posted an old pic of SD 5 years ago. When we saw her this weekend I showed her.

I ended up showing her old pictures of our dogs as puppies and scrolled through other pics.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I don't think I would be doing any of this with her until your DH teaches her to stop being a jerk to you.

""Why were you so big?". Yep, DH's so "mature" 12 year old"

It has nothing to do with lack of maturity. Even had her BM and father never taught her any better, you can bet your buns her school has. If she ran around school saying such 'innocent' *bats little Miss Innocent eyelashes* she'd either get her butt kicked or she'd be sitting most the school year in the principal's office being lecture on 'how not to be a bully', 'how to have tolerance of differences' and probably 'when to shut your f-ing mouth' to boot.

IMO, all you did with your retort to her was chance the next questions to be 'what kind of eating disorder did you have' , 'how were you cured', blah blah blah.

She didn't ask those questions because she knows full well she was being a little sh*t (just as her father proclaimed). She knows she was being rude as soon as the words were popping out of her mouth.

Sure the differences between you then and now may have genuinely taken the girl by surprised. However it was not immaturity and not knowing better that had the thought turning into actual words flowing off her lips. It was purely being rude and a little sh*t.

What is it with delusional Disney dads and bio moms thinking their feral kids are so advanced and mature? I heard this kind of stuff all the time about OSD. According to DH and BM she was "wise beyond her years" and "an old soul" -- but all I saw was an entitled little snot. Honestly...I think this is an excuse parents make for girls who are sullen and unpleasant. Oh...she's just 'too mature' to be a kind person...

Seriously, with OSD...this was a kid who, at 14, would point to things she wanted in the store and make grunting noises or say the name of the thing on repeat. Like: "Gummies! Gummies!" while reaching / pointing. She's now about to be 21...at 19/20 she used to call her dad and ask him if he'd call in sick for her at work. (He always said no, thank goodness!) Sooooo wise and mature!

Now that she's become ever so slightly more responsible and bearable, the accepted narrative has become: "Well. OSD went through a rough phase but...you know. She was just ready to be a grown-up. Now that she is...she can feel like herself and be just lovely..."

Um. No. She was a lazy, immature, entitled teen who was a horror to be around...and now she's a lazy, entitled young adult who we don't have to interact with as much...which makes you think she's changed.

The whole thing is enough to make you want to tear your hair out.

Hon, you where heavier... you lost weight right....

the appropriate answer would've been....

SD I lost weight, it was easy, but belief me when I say, once you have a shitty personality and a black heart there's nothing you can do about it, I think you will always have a black heart and no personality while I can loose weight...

Yeah I'm that sort of woman that snaps after the 5th insult and you better be prepared to get some back. I will not tolerate people making fun of some one else' body shape or what ever..