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Step mothers life is hard

meme49's picture

I’m a bio mum of 3 daughters 23,18,13 and a bio NaN of 3 grand children 2,4,5

I grew up with a violent alcholic father who died in 1994 aged 54

i married an alcoholic 16 years with him

i was then with a cheating control freak 9 years 

I have been with DH nearly  6 years he is 8 years younger than me.

He has a daughter aged 12 who is living with us as her mother has mental health problems and alcohol and drug issues. BM is married to an alcholic and drug abuser they spirit  up get back together all the time. BM has real control issues the one atm is she refuses to see her child as she has to in a contact centre saying she can’t afford the £15 fee when she’s often out drinking in bars eating in restaurants and driving a car = control.

I’ve had an awful life childhood of anxiety where I’d watch my drunk father beat and try kill my mother daily - then my mom leaves him when I’m 11 and married a very mentally unwell man. I left home aged 17 just 3 weeks after my 17th moved 100 miles away to be a live in child minder.

i had 8 years fertility treatment 

I’ve had late babyloss I’ve chronic ibs and anxiety from this and yoyo weightloss issues.

So that’s me and I have had some awful things happen to me I can’t post here apart from this year my son in law aged 22 hung himself he’s daddy to my 3 grand babies his youngest aged 2 was in the flat when he took his life.

My daughter his ex had moved 190 miles away 6 months before leaving the 2 year old with him taking the 2 elder ones.

I work from home and do 99% everything in the home including diy gardening pay the bills I pay 1/2

my husband is addicted to his work he works from home and works 7 days a week 52 weeks the year and 10 hours most days

 

so that’s me in a nutshell.

Comments

meme49's picture

I’m a bio mum of 3 daughters 23,18,13 and a bio NaN of 3 grand children 2,4,5

I grew up with a violent alcholic father who died in 1994 aged 54

i married an alcoholic 16 years with him

i was then with a cheating control freak 9 years 

I have been with FH nearly  6 years he is 8 years younger than me.

he has a daughter aged 12 who is living with us as her mother has mental health problems and alcohol and drug issues. BM is married to an alcholic and drug abuser they spit up get back together all the time. BM has real control issues the one atm is she refuses to see her child as she has to in a contact centre saying she can’t agfird the £15 fee when she’s often out drinking in bars eating in restaurants and driving a car = control.

ive has an awful life childhood of anxiety where I’d watch my drunk father beat and try kill my mother daily - then my mom leaves him when I’m 11 and married a very mentally unwell man. I left home aged 17 just 3 weeks after my 17th moved 100 miles away to be a live in chikd minder.

i had 8 years fertility treatment 

I’ve had late babyloss I’ve chrinic ibs and anxiety from this and yoyo weightloss issues.

So that’s me and I have had some awful things happen to me I can’t post here apart from this year my son in law aged 22 hung himswlf he’s daddy to my 3 grand babies his yojngestes aged 2 was in the flat when he took his life.

my daughter his ex had moved 190 miles away 6 months before leaving the 2 year old with him taking the 2 elder ones.

I work from home and do 99% everything isn’t he home including diy gardening pay the bills I pay 1/2

my husband is addicted to his work he works from home and works 7 days a week 52 weeks the year and 10 hours most days

 

so that’s me in a nutshell.

Liltat87's picture

Sounds like you have had a tough life....yang un there!! You have a lot on your plate....remember to take care of yourself. You are important too *good*

tog redux's picture

I remember your other posts.

You have been conditioned from birth on to consider abuse "normal" and to not consider your own needs.  You are unhappy in this situation but it's hard for you to take action as you have not experienced healthy self-regard or healthy relationships.

Your first order of business should be therapy, so you can heal some of the trauma you've experienced.  You will find you see things differently after that, and are able to protect yourself better.