I wasn't around when ss was 3 but I can tell you some things picked up from DH and other mothers I know. What is his "attending" level? And by that I mean is he engaged with the world around him. Does he show active curiosity about his surroundings when in a restaurant or somewhere new? Or is he content to stay with own thoughts and not particularly focus his gaze anywhere that isn't very close to him (a food item on his plate for instance versus the novelty of a soda fountain a bit yonder).

Does he engage with other faces? Children learn pretty young to read faces and so turn toward them for cues to understand their world. But an autistic kid seems to have not gotten the memo. An autistic kid will typically need to be told a thousand times to "look at me" even during highly positive interactions. When answering will he speak facing away from you with no awareness that you might not be able to hear him that way?

Meltdowns are common for autistic children but I wouldn't describe it the same as "anger."

My son is autistic. He was diagnosed a few months ago officially but i knew since last year.

My son is non verbal. His stim is jumping.

Autism presents differently in every child. My son has 0 problems with transitions..except if we turn off a show he was into. He could handle going to different houses.

He has no anger problems except he does bite when frustrated because he has no way to communicate. He does not hit and is actually happier then my "normal " son.

Early diagnosis is key to helping these children. My son was very clearly autistic. He will bring us things but in a way like help me not check this out.

On walks, he will just walk along smiling or stop and inspect something but he couldn't care less if we saw or were interested.

He loves games like ring around the rosey but he won't play pretend at all. He really only interacts with people if he needs or wants something and if its something he can do himself it is like people are not there.

My son does bite in retaliation at daycare if a toy is taken or someone invades his space. He really does not understand. He wears a bite bib and has started to bute himself to the point that he has a callous in his knuckle.

There are things that can help transitions.. or change. My son dislikes shopping because he is strapped in so he gets doritos in the store. I know alot of autism parents utilize tablets..but i am not so sure that is the way we will go. We are just starting out using pictures to help him communicate its called pecs.. i tried for a year to do signing with him but it didn't click.

Maybe that child is having a meltdown. My son thankfully so far does not have meltdowns. Only 1 time he has. nothing could make him stop. I finally strapped him in his car seat and drove around till he fell asleep.

I have bought weight vests for my son and we have been trying brushing... it helps him focus. At a inflatable jump house he jumped then would focus on a puzzle quietly. My son has sensory issues and he isn't getting enoufh information from his enviroment. He mouths everything. Everything has to touch his mouth..which is why he is sick with strep again!

When he was first diagnosed i read a book called the reason why i jump and it helped me visualize a bit more what might be going on with my son.

I have a high functioning aspie. I don't see anger issues but I do see frustration. I can remember the week when my son cried all day every day and then suddenly he was just... different. He was 18 months.

My son is 9. He is socially a little backward, misses some cues, but mostly it is because he is so in his own little world it is hard for him to think of others. He certainly does not lack empathy but struggles to show it. Something bad will happen to his little brother like taking a fall, and he won't react but will later bring it up, telling his brother that he felt bad that he got hurt, or will say he was sad that his brother cried. He needs time to process.

He is not physically affectionate but will 'sidle up' and just squish his body against me. He doesn't like being hugged but craves contact. When I make him hug me in a silly way he will giggle in a higher pitch, he sounds like a babbling brook, and hug me while rolling his eyes.

He gets overloaded when too much is going on and start to panic.

He absolutely does not like change. We travel a lot on vacations and he is always freaked out. Sometimes he gets so strange we call him RainMan but where man is we insert his name.

He has food issues, he doesn't like anything runny, no sauces, no cheese, his meat has to be cut in squares with no fat. He eats like he has been in prison, guards his plate with his arm, head down because he can't stand to watch others eat. He obsessed about fat content and calories, doesn't want to gain weight, but because he is only nine doesn't realize that chips are bad for you. He just sees potatoes. Lol. When he was a toddler his favorite treat was frozen broccoli florets straight from the freezer like a popsicle.

He has a huge vocabulary, one that sets you off guard. He is the smartest person I know. He knows every fact about WWII. Every tank, every gun, the key players, the battles, the dates. He retains things that I cannot believe and has memories from very early. He is very artistic. He loves math. When he gets overwhelmed at school the teacher said he could sit in the hall where it is quiet to calm his mind. He said "I don't think I would be interested in languishing in the hall while my peers are learning". He was 7. His teacher at first thought he was not paying attention and would ask him questions to catch him, he always had the answer. He hates writing. She once gave him an incorrect sentence and told him to write the sentence properly. Instead he corrected it like a teacher, crossing out the mistakes and circling errors rather than write it. When she asked why, he said "It is a waste of time and pencil lead".

He is very polite and sweet. Very interesting to converse with. But he does have meltdowns. When that happens he is like a dog with a bone. His older brother put his arm around his shoulders and steered him to the kitchen and my aspie spent two hours talking on and on about how his older brother very nearly choked him to death.

He also toe walks to the point of having misshapen arches like a ballerina and holds his fingers in a weird way, counting syllables.

There are a million other little things.

Often times with autism there are language issues. It is also not uncommon for kids to hit all early milestones and then begin top regress (losing language etc). Behavior can also be a factor because if the child is acting out they may be responding to overstimulation. However however you have to dephcier what is niormal for the age range and what is not. Children on the spectrum often have difficutly with eyecontact-however my stepson has no issues with that.

What I would do is talknto my pediatrician as it is pretty early for a DX still. You will most likely be referred to early interventiom

I wanted to say something else about the autistic meltdowns. Several of us have distinguished it from anger. I think a good description is that in the autistic meltdown you can see the child's anguish. The screaming, tears, even lashing out is an attempt to extinguish an intensity of misery, not an attempt to hurt or "get back" at someone. The emotion in the child is largely internal with external manifestations rather than an emotion that is actually directed outwardly.

At least that is what I have observed.