Words from the 5 yrs mouth....
This wkd SS8 spent the night at a friends house so we todl SS5 that it was b/c we wanted to spend special time with him. We took him to the harbor for ice cream and to a special dinner. So on the drive home, SS5 is talking about a variety of things as normal. When we got home, I was doing laundry and I hear SS5 tell DH out of the blue b/c they were talking about Wonder Pets that he wants BM's b/f, CJ, to move out so that they can have the place to themselves. So DH said you dont like CJ? SS5 goes no I do, but him and Mommy yell at each other all the time and their faces get red. DH dumbfounded comes and gets me. We NEVER ask the kids about BM or their house there, they do tell us things but we never pry. SS5 continues to say that they fight all the time and he just wants CJ to move out. He told us he likes it our house.
Now as much as I'm like HAHA, you're relationship is a trainwreck when you protray that everything is SO perfect, my concern in the kids being in a war zone!!! SS5 was too young to remember BM and DH fighting. But SS8 remembers quite well and he has told SS5 that BM and DH use to fight all the time. There is realyl nothing we can do.
Although it makes me want to call her and laugh in her face!! She tried to tell DH that she is SO happy now and is in a "perfect" relationship!! Meanwhile, CJ tried to get with her BFF and settled for her and she stopped talking to her BFF b/c she couldnt handle the competition!!!
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I think I can relate with
I think I can relate with your feelings of "HAHA!" and I sometimes feel very wrong for that, but hey...those are your feelings, right?
On another note, though, this is a big deal if it is something that kids are witnessing first-hand.
I think you should have a talk with the kids about whether they are afraid when BM and CJ argue - this could be a better clue as to what kind of arguments these are, and if you need to do anything about it. If they have feelings of fear or are viewing any sort of domestic violence, this is definitely a HUGE problem and needs to be addressed ASAP. (I don't mean to sound condescending as if you don't know, just working out the issue in my head I guess!) On the other hand, you could also use it as a way to discuss relationships with the kids. Make sure he realizes that adults argue sometimes but that it might not mean something bad. Give him some suggestions on how to deal with it when/if they do fight (go in his room and play by himself?). And above all, if it gets "scary" that you and your husband should know as soon as possible.
i can relate to your
i can relate to your feelings as well! my sd is 6 and she sometimes tells us about her BM and her bf not getting along, and we dont ask her to. Part of me is happy they fight sometimes, but other times I hope they do stay together so she will stay off my dh's back!