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Not all roses

Mandy45's picture

It all began so perfect my two step daughters loved me as i knew them long before me and there father got together. Then we got together and all was fine. There mother hopeless so they lived fulltime with my husband and me. Then we got married they where part of the wedding and everything and then we moved in together just before we got married. Then the day he put that ring on my finger it all went to hell.

The eldest SD 16 at the time hooked up at the wedding with her second cousin started having a relationship with him. Of course both i and the my husband thought this to be wrong. So you can imagine the fireworks she thought she was in love. She turned on me wrote in a diary that she was going to break me and her father up. Then she got knocked up. Wanted to live with us and have a baby. My husband was having none of this so he kicked her out live with her mother. Then she ended up having a abortion.

Then a few months later she moved back. And she quit school and my husband told her to look for a job and charge her board. But she started two jobs and didnt stay more than a week. Refused to pay board. So trying to be a good wife i tried to help her get a job and give her advice. Played nice for a while till she completely turned on me. We ended up fighting and aruging over numerous things.

 My husband ended up kicking her out again to live with her mother. Not so much because we where fighting but because she was lazy and wouldnt work. And was causing trouble for us with one of my husband jealous exs who also would have like to have seen us broken up. So in the end there ended up being a lot of hostility between me and her. She blamed me for all her problems when it was her own fault.

Then we get phone calls everyday and that with her and her mother fighting and complaining they had no food and all this BS. Because the mother a total drop kick a professional blugger. So we had all this chaos going on.

Then there was the second step daughter who was 6 or 7 at the time she a bit of a handful and a strange kid. So i took on the mother role walked her to school and bought her things done all the things mothers do. But she has always had bad behaviour has always been jealous of me resent the fact im there not her mother.

Now time passed my eldest SD  26 moved on had kids and blah blah our relationship not to bad. But the my youngest SD she 17 now and we are living in hell she sleeps all day i mean sleeps all day wakes up like 3 or 4 in the afternoon doesnt shower quit school she had a job at mcdonalds for a few months then quit. Sits up all night on the internet her rooms filthy she sleeps next to rubbish. She wakes up comes down ask whats for dinner than locks herself in her room. After she slept all day we been working. 

You have to yell and aruge with her to get anything done. Then it still doesnt get done. We have spoken to her time and time again about her laziness and her bad attuitude she doesnt care. Spends all her waking time staring at her phone. We have sent her to counseling she will not turn up to the appointments because she wont get up or leave the house.

We got in a arugment a few weeks ago and she told me to get out of her and her fathers house. That her dad loves her more than me.  She was here first. Buy this time i was fuming so i rang her father and told him what was going on. And he rang her and she turned around to him and said why she here for. We just dont get along. Always butting head.

Jealously she has of me. She just thinks everyone owes her. We dont owe her crap. Like ive got two grown kids of my own they dont even come around to my house because they dont want to be in this crap. In the ten years ive been living there my own kids been there about twice. SD shows me so much disrespect. But then if she wants something will be nice as pie.

Pisses me off. After all ive done for her ive done more than her mother ever did. Ive fed her house her clothed her when i havent had too. What have i got in return nothing but crap.

So im writing this as a warning its can all seem nice and fuzzy in the beginning. Your in love you think happy brady bunch. Being a step parent is hard work. By my story and many others that i read on here it can also be a nightmare that you cant wake up from. Them kids are going to be in your life for a long time. So if your marrying someone that has kids think before you jump. Because i love my husband but if i knew what i knew now i wouldnt of got married. Would of moved on. Kept my sanity. 


Harry's picture

Your DH is the problem.  He playing SD games.  Either DH starts backing you up or you must get out of this drama.  Getting yout own place Will not be accomplishing anything.  SD either will not be around or totally poised your DH.  Leaving will tell your DH your done with this drama.  So either he backs you up or not 

tog redux's picture

If you could edit your post and put some paragraphs in, you might get more responses - no offense meant, it's just very hard to read a wall of text.  You can go back to the blog and click the "edit" tab.

somethingwicked's picture

How many jealous ex's does your husband have?

And as far as SD17 is concerned  why hasn't her father put his punter shoe back on and kick this miniwife to the biohobag like he did with the first? 

You certainly had a rough 10 years. Not all roses indeed..mostly the thorns,right?

I agree 100% with your final paragraph warning to stay clear of  marrying into StepHell.

Mandy45's picture

His a musician so theres a few lol no he got enstrange daughter with someone else. Her mother is a C*** pardon the language but theres no other why to describe her. 

Ispofacto's picture

SD is not entitled to a phone.  Cancel it.  While you're at it, cancel cable and password protect your internet.


Mandy45's picture

We dont have cable she doesnt watch tv anyway. Doesnt have one one in her room.She got prepaid phone so we just dont top it up. We cut her off the internet several times taken away her phone. She just throws a tantrum has a melt down.

Which is ridiculous for someone of 17 Then acts like a model child for a awhile till she gets it back then the circle starts again.

My husband like she been good give it back. I just think here we go again. So after several times of this happening. I dont even bother anymore.

When hubby complains about her I just shrug now say you wont listen. If you want to look after her till she 30 that your problem I'm just living my life with or without you. 

I got better things to do then get angry argue with a lazy snooty nose brat everyday. Especially when he doesnt back me up or enforce whatever discipline I lay down.