Do any of you deal with being your step child's second SM? (or 3r, or 4th...)
I know I really struggled with this when I entered the picture.
DH began his relationship with his daughter my SD14 when she was 5. BM#1 brought her to meet him and he began regular weekend parenting. He lived with BM#2 at the time and BM#2 acted in a step mom capacity for 1.5 years while DH and her were still together.
SD was very upset when DH left BM#2 when she was pregnant with SD#2. Once SD#2 was born SD14 (then age continued going to visitation at BM#2's house until SD#2 was 3 years old...so she was 11 when she stopped going to visitation at BM#2's house. This also coincides with when both SD's began taking there visitation with my DH at our (his and my) house and when I took on the SM role.
I feel very blessed that I had two SM's growing up because I can apply lessons learned from my childhood to my parents and relationships with my SD's. When my Dad left my first SM and forced me to live with and love my 2nd SM it was HORRIBLE. I hated and resented my 2nd SM for years and was awful to her. Without experiencing that I may have handled the transition poorly with my own SD's and made a horrible situation of it for myself and my SD's. I learned from my parents mistakes. The transition with my SD's although it felt rocky for me at the time, went relatively well and we all got through it unscathed and with intact relationships. I am certain most people in this situation dont have that kind of insight that I had from my childhood so I am curious....has this happened to you and how did you deal with it?
It sucks being a SM and being compared to BM....but to be compared to BM and a previous SM can be enough to put you over the top! I'm just interested in hearing other peoples stories in this regard.