You are here

Predictions for Christmas Drama: BM and In-Laws

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I'm going to post some predictions here for the Christmas Holiday Chaos. Please add your own.

1. BM will act like everything is fine until two days before the Christmas Holiday, when she will suddenly become "confused" about the visitation schedule and will promptly create her own bizarre schedule for the kids, which will magically allow her to parade her children in front of her family for the max amount of time and then dump them on us when there is no longer an audience.

2. BM's new schedule will require DH and I to drive the skids four hours to her parents' house despite the fact that BM lives ten minutes away.

3. BM will claim to have "left town" before the holiday begins in order to make DH drive the skids four hours to BM's parents' house. This is because she hates traveling with the kids and can't "handle" them for long trips.

4. If/when DH refuses, BM will threaten to take him back to court for denying her access to her kids. We will receive a phone call from her lawyer's legal assistant, who will be under the mistaken impression that DH had already agreed to these schedule changes. DH will inform her that he hasn't agreed and will not agree, at which point she'll say she will call him back. Three hours later, BM's lawyer will call and spout off a bunch of legal lingo about the rights of the custodial parent. DH will tell him "no" once again. The lawyer will say he'll call back . . . and then he won't.

5. BM will text and say her "leaving town" was magically postponed and she can pick the kids up after all.

6. DH will take this free time and decide to go snowboarding. DH's dad will call to inquire about our when/how he can see the boys for christmas. DH will explain the schedule and accidentally mention the snowboarding trip. DH's dad will mention this to BM, who will promptly begin sending urgent texts about one or both of the boys being sick and requesting DH to come take care of them.

7. Five days before Christmas, BM will text and ask what presents we got the boys in order to avoid "doubling" gifts. Then she will go out and buy the same things we got them, only bigger, better, and more.

8. SS5 will be under the bizarre impression that I am going to steal his presents and start crying at some point. Depending on my mood, I will reassure him for some amount of time that I have no interest in his presents, that I helped santa pick his presents, that I have my own very exciting presents . . . before giving up and starting to drink.

9. DH's mother will come over with her new husband to visit for thirty minutes and talk about how BM is so sad that she's broke and can't buy the boys better presents. BM's even sadder that she is going to have to give up her house (she can't afford to pay for it with her 6 figure trust fund) and that this will be the boys last Christmas at their true home.

10. DH's dad will come stay with us for up to 7 seven days and talk about BM and how sad BM is that she's broke and can't buy the boys better presents. He is even sadder that BM is going to have to give up the house and that the boys will be practically homeless after this last real christmas.

11. DH's sister call and text DH's dad thirty times a day until he goes to her house (a ten minute drive). He'll come back several hours later with stories about how the boys cried at christmas at BM's parents house because their daddy wasn't there.

12. BM will dump the boys on us two days before her part of visitation is over due to a head cold/ bronchitus/ fill in the blank.

13. The last day of our visitation, BM will call from Florida (where she'll be having vacation with her new bf) and say she is stuck there--that her plane has been delayed--and that she won't be able to pick up the boys two or three days later than planned. (we live in New Mexico, by the way)

14. I'll realize I've spent five hundred dollars on booze in a single week.

Comments

Madam Hedgehog's picture

a fellow new mexican! too cool. I hope you live in a more exciting part of the state. we live on the texas border and there is nothing nothing nothing here. DH and I are hoping to move to Santa Fe or Ruidoso (heck, even albuquerque) within the next few years.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

it happens EVERY YEAR. DH always wants the boys, so he never turns down extra time. I would be okay with it if it didn't cause so much freaking chaos for our plans. If she would just tell us "hey, I don't want them on these days" it would be fine with me. But instead she waits until the last minute when we are about to go snowboarding or something and she has a SUDDEN EMERGENCY and we have to forget about our plans to make up for what is actually a planned emergency for her.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

15. We will reschedule Christmas so that we can celebrate with skids, and if BM finds out (through DH's dad) she will have a mysterious problem with her car at the last minute that prevents her from bringing skids until the next day.

16. DH will wake up at 5 AM and spend all day working on a FANTASTIC Christmas dinner. SS5 will cry that he doesn't like, so SS2 will copy him, and DH will give up and make them both peanut butter sandwiches while everyone else is enjoying Christmas dinner and visiting.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

lol. til the season for complete and utter madness . . . oh, i mean merriment.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Awesome. I'm sure there are plenty of comments about my drinking as well. It doesn't matter if DH drinks because he's "a man" but stepmom drinking the holiday away is a whole different issue.

Little do they know that BM is taking three times the recommended dose of antidepressants and can barely see straight--much less fill out forms for SS at school.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

That's hysterical. Sounds like DH's sister. She is constantly stirring up drama and throwing fits over nonsense. Everyone complains about her, but then they kiss her a$$ the minute she's upset. It's completely insane. DH's dad actually stays with us when he is in town so that he doesn't have to deal with her, but the instant she or BM is around he is right up their a$$es again.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

good gawd. in-laws seem to be as bad (if not worse) than everyone warned me. that's not to say my DH doesn't put up with alot of garbage from my parents.

why in the world do these people feel so entitled to screw with other people's lives?

crystalyzed's picture

HAHAHA wow sounds very familiar, But this year i'm screwed I don't know how i'll get through it without any "booze" i'm pregnant:) So I have to just survive through it....uuuuggghhh Have a few drinks for me!!!!!!!!!

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I definitely will.

I guess you could use the pregnancy card and unleash some well deserved holiday wrath???

Just an idea.

stepmom-at20's picture

Crystalzed im pregnant aswell so we are in the same boat,i hate the holidays its just drama drama drama o well next year will be diffrent when our babys are with us...when are you due?

skylarksms's picture

Well, I can tell you how LAST Xmas went...little background first:

PB (BM) got preggo RIGHT.AFTER SD(16 at the time) gave birth to PB's first/only grandbaby. She badgered the guy into marrying her when she was about 5 months along.

PB decided to induce labor on Xmas Eve. See, SHE was born on Thanksgiving, so why not mess up EVERYONE'S Christmas plans and have HER crotch dropping on Xmas Eve or Xmas Day?? (Not that we were "allowed" more visitation time, just a distracted SS who was thinking about his mother and new baby sister).

THEN, she decided to "reschedule" her "family" Xmas...on a weekend that DH was SUPPOSED to get SS for visitation. Which, of course, didn't happen.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

"so why not mess up EVERYONE'S Christmas plans and have HER crotch dropping on Xmas Eve or Xmas Day??"

HYSTERICAL.

I'm sure she has more excitement planned for you this year. Holiday drama is like crack to these people.

purpledaisies's picture

I don't understand why these men can't say NO!?? :?

If she left and he has the kids and she expects him to take them to her then um NO you come get them and if not they are fine with me!

Why do all that stupid running around?? SO stupid and if my dh ever thought about that shit he would be ALONE! He knows that too. The reason she does that is b/c you dh will not tell her no and he done with it.

So what if she threatens court tell her 'see ya there' you can prove she didn't come get them! ignore all calls from her atty! ignore her too about the threats and make her leave VM! So you can use it or texts! No sense in talking to her but a simple no I will not take the kids 4 hours a way you come get them or met ant the meeting place will work and leave it at that. The less he talks to her the better.

Don't tell her what you are getting them just tell her you don;t know yet and leave at that. she doesn't need to know.

Your dh needs to make all this drama stop he has that power but simply say NO it will not happen here. he needs to sit ss down and talk to him about the crap his mom says and he needs to do the same with his mom! Then he needs to tell bm NO!

This ca all be stopped if your dh would just do it!

And why are you putting up with him NOT doing anything about it? :?

I would tell my dh that he can wallow in the drama if he wants but I will going to xyz and he is more than welcome to come as long as he leaves the drama behind and he can do that by telling bm this is my time and this I will pick them up at this time at this place and drop them off at this time at this place and then not answer to her about anything else! Then he can tell him mom she can come but only is she says NOTHING about bm!

It might not be the fist time you say this that your dh will follow but I can tell you that he will get the pic! He will either start changing or not but if not you know where you stand!

Madam Hedgehog's picture

There are two major factors contributing to this situation.

1) BM is the crappiest mom on the planet, so no one--including me--trusts her with the kids for more than a couple hours at a time. Therefore, DH is always worried about their welfare and takes them for any extra time he can.

2)The court system has systematically screwed DH over for three years and he does not trust them to interpret any situation in his favor anymore. Any time there is a problem, he goes above and beyond to make sure there no way anyone could claim he is screwing over BM or neglecting his obligation to the skids.

TheBrightSide's picture

BM will propose an exact replica of her BF’s visitation schedule with his kids so that SD11 will be with them at the same time as her BF’s children are with them. Make sense? (We know her reasoning is so that SD11 is only with BM while her BF’s kids are with her (in other words, so that she doesn’t’ have to spend any one on one time with SD11).
Last year BM had SD for Christmas morning. So the deal was, we had SD11 on Christmas Eve all day until 10:00 pm. Last year we had my DH’s family over for Christmas Eve dinner. At 10:00 p.m. when BM shows up to pick up SD, all of DH’s family gathered around the front door to witness the exchange. It was like BM was a celebrity. They all had to oogle the exchange at the door. Of course, BM was in her glory. It was a real treat to watch….not.

Of course, last year, DH and I had a huge fight the day before so for the next three days we didn’t speak to eachother, (I was accused of ruining Christmas for SD). Of course, no one knew we were fighting so I had a friggen house full of people and no one noticed we actually didn’t sit next to eachother, nor speak to eachother. Fun times

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Good gawd. You ruined christmas for SD? how did you manage that trick?

littlemommy's picture

Oh this is easy!

1. BM or some member of her degenerate family will make sure that her spawn gets dropped off at the IL's from hell to collect a hoard of presents, SD will spend the first hour screaming refusing to let anyone touch her and only say mommy, mommy like she is a damn baby (she's almost 4)

2. My IL's who to talk to them you'd think they were a step away from a telethon will magically come up with several hundred dollars on useless crap for SD that she will never play with

Madam Hedgehog's picture

between DH's family and BM's family, several thousand dollars have been spent on each of the skids in the last 3 years. it's insane. ss2 has his own ipad for god's sake.

Aeron's picture

Wait, this has happened... more than once? Wow, I would find a friend or family member or hotel to go to and take the freaking cable box with me... Ugh. Or lock the doors and pretend to not be home...

Madam Hedgehog's picture

It's bizarre how predictable this becomes. I can literally predict when BM is going to start texting about one of the boys being sick. I feel like a really depressed psychic.

hismineandours's picture

My first prediction for my xmas is that my dh will become sentimental and start talking about a family gathering with the inlaws and buying sweet little ss large amounts of presents.

My second prediction is that I will vomit when the first prediction comes true.