DH's mom and her new husband came to town this weekend and spent the entire time with DH's older sister (affectionately refered to as Lord Voldemort at our house) and, guess who, BM.

During the divorce--which was a long ungodly mess--BM decided to become best friends with DH's older sister. The older sister likes money--and BM has plenty of it--so she basically went along with BM's plan and the two of them became best friends and tried to meddle with DH's life for the next couple years.

While I thought it was odd that DH's older sister sided with his crazy ex--who is not a good person or a good parent--I didn't really care. However, from that point on the older sister has been weilding her influence in the family to turn everyone against DH and coerce everyone into kissing BM's a$$. Until the divorce, BM was not close to ANYONE in DH's family. I have no idea why, but that's the situation.

Until recently, I have had a pretty good relationship with DH's mom, DH's dad, and his favorite uncle. However, over the last few months, every single one of them has chosen not to see us at some point in order to hang out with BM instead. DH's father actually tried to tell DH he wasn't coming to our wedding a month ago. I'm pretty sure the only reason he came was was DH had a melt down and really yelled at him.

So, this weekend SS5 had a soccer game. DH's mom and her husband showed up. Until that point, they had spent their entire visit with DH's older sister and BM. BM tries to give them the silent treatment at first--presumably because they hugged me?--but then they go kiss her ass and she calms down and lets them talk to her. They actually hesitated about talking to DH and I sort of dragged them over to say hi. So, basically, the whole game goes by and they say nothing to me because they are busy sucking up to BM. Then, at the end of the game, I tell DH's mom that they ought to swing by the house afterwards to look at wedding pictures. She says yes and that they will come straight over.

Thirty minutes later, we are at the house waiting. DH finally gets fed up and calls. Low and behold, DH's mom is having lunch with BM.

DH loses it and basically (literally) tells his own mother to f@ck off. We take my parents to lunch (who were really excited about seeing DH's mom and new husband and confused about the whole thing). They call to tell DH they're leaving town. He says okay. Five minutes later, they change their mind and show up at the restaurant.

It's just ridiculous that DH has to go through this nonsense. He is the one who has been there for everyone in the family, and in return they treat him like shit. He is literally the only person in the family who showed up to his mother's wedding because everyone was mad at her for getting remarried. (well, BM showed up, of course . . . and we had to leave early because she tried to sit next to us at the reception)

I don't get it, but I am starting to want nothing to do with his family at all. We are planning on getting pregnant soon and I don't want our kid to care enough about them to be hurt by all this bullshit. DH thinks things will change once we have a kid and that they will try to be more equal, but I'm not sure I believe that at all. They know DH will not use the kid against them. They know I won't use the kid against them. So, really, there's no reason not to keep kissing BM's ass, especially because she WILL use the kids against them.

Suggestions?