Well, that was a bad week with SS being here. I'll be honest, I broke out into a happy dance when H left to take SS back to BM. Some part of me wishes that I hadn't looked at the August schedule, only to see that SS is coming back again next weekend. The other part of me knows that I couldn't handle that type of "surprise." BUT the dread is already building. 3 more days with this kid in my house.

The whole situation is exhausting. SS is exhausting.

What I find amazing is that when SD is here, there is no drama. Which is crazy in and of itself, because when I met my H, SD had a TON of behavioral and emotional problems. A lot of interventions occurred and now she's, dare I say it, normal? She was actually pleasant to be around during her visit. In fact, I think that the contrast between how SD acts and how SS acts has played a major factor into H's new realization about how immature SS is. Also, the fact that SD and I get along and everything in the house is "just fine" when SD is here, but not when SS is here. H can't paint me as a child-hating ogre if I am getting along with one of his children, but not the other. Especially when one of his children (SD) isn't attempting to monopolize his time, isn't standing out the bathroom door waiting for him, and will actually honor H's request that she stay in her room while H spend some time with me too.

Soooo...

SS on the other hand -- is an attention vampire. When he walks into the room, it feels as though all of the oxygen has been sucked right out of it. He has zero manners, no "please," and no "thank you," he interrupts conversations non-stop because he can't stand people not talking about/to HIM, he's a whiner and a crier -- and about really weird babyish stuff, and I honestly think that he is a hypochondriac.

Example/back story: SS was complaining to H that his "heart beats really fast" and he gets "short of breath" and he feels really weird. H mentions this to BM, BM does nothing. SS keeps saying it. H finally does something about it. Tests are done and the results are that there is nothing wrong with SS's heart. Thank you God, there is nothing wrong with his heart. However, now SS has started with how he "gets headaches" and "feels dizzy." I don't know, I mean I am not a person to just chalk someone's (especially a kids) physical complaints as nonsense, but with this kid I just happen to see a pattern. TO ME it appears as though SS's physical complaints are just a means of getting attention. You know, as an "all else has failed"...

I said as much to my H and he agrees. However, because it's probably best to not do anything, just in case, H is going to talk to BM again. H also said that he talked to SS about it "being in his head" and that they could go to a doctor, but if the doctor said that there is nothing wrong, can SS admit that it's "in his head" and not something to worry about? SS consented.

Eh.

Personally, I think the kid has some sort of an anxiety disorder. I showed H the symptoms check-list for anxiety disorders and everything that SS complains about is on the list. Couple that with the fact that the kid is up H's ass 24/7 (the kid goes into a panic and has a total meltdown if H even "wakes up without him") and he is CONSTANTLY seeking attention and approval and can't be left on his own for 5min without the kid practically crawling out of his own skin. The kid just seems... "fearful."

Then let's throw in the fact that this kid will launch into a TWO HOUR tantrum just because he doesn't have H's 100% attention. OMG it makes me sick to watch H get manipulated like that. H didn't respond to the tantrum during the last visit, however, in a lot of ways the entire family was still held hostage by SS -- even though we were trying to act like we weren't.

Maybe that's the best way to describe how I feel when SS is in the house: I feel like a hostage.

And my H acts like a total tool. To be fair, H seemed to be really trying to include me and to quit vanishing as an adult and my husband simply because SS wants to monopolize all of his time. Maybe my little blow-up in front of SS worked? I know that H realized that if I am blowing-up in front of a kid -- especially HIS kid -- that I have reached the end of my rope. SS wasn't responding very well to the fact that H was trying to have conversations with me and to spend time with me and to include me. In fact SS's behavior became an even bigger eye-opener for H. H actually voiced some concerns to me about SS's immaturity and inability to be alone and how he is "too clingy and needy."

I really hope things change. For this kids sake and for the sake of our marriage, I really hope things get changed.