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Picking Up FSD7 at the police station tonight and looking for advice

Lovepets's picture

BM refused to pay for her week of FSD7's summer camp, so that FDH and I could work on our days that FSD will be with us, and so that BM can work on her "classes." Now that she has disrupted the schedule FDH and BM decided to meet at the police station to exchange FSD. FDH wants me to be there, at least in the car, as her text messages have gotten nasty and the last time they were face to face she spit in his face and told him to hit her. So I feel I need to support FDH and be another adult there. The pick up is arranged in the parking lot of the police station not inside (I hope it never gets to that point). If you have any advice on dealing with this type of situation I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!


Lovepets's picture

Thank you so much! Good advice about the parking and the phone. I will do both. I do want to support FDH, I don't want to "stir the pot." BM is exactly the "(unless you are our BM and EVERYTHING you do it correct and you don't live in reality) Smiling" type. So reading that made me laugh out loud!!! Thanks again

buttercookie's picture

We have people switch in lobby all the time no one thinks much of it it's the safest thing to do when your dealing with a nut

pat's picture

That sucks that kids have to deal with such psycho BM. I agree , don't get out of car. I would have my ex arrested if she spit on me. She is trying to get him arrested. If she is that crazy, I would meet her inside where there is cameras on to record the event. Good luck.

buttercookie's picture

Most the time we don't even know what they are there for. The lobby is a public area. Most the time we see one parent waiting and then the kid and other parent arrive. One family waits and watches for one party to drive off then they leave. Works for them. Since I can see whats going on I have had to call an officer in. I normally don't think its the best option but there are families that it is the best option.

Lovepets's picture

Hi Pat, thanks for asking! It went as good as it could! I tried to be polite and smile when we pulled up to BM, she ignored me and got out of her car. FDH stayed in the driver's seat, I got out and said hello BM, she looked past me and asked FDH "does FSD need her backpack?" He is not speaking to her so I said back, "does she? What did you pack?" She ignores me again and says "FDH does FSD need her back pack?" in the voice of 3 year old. FDH says nothing, so I say "I guess not." Shouldn't a Mom know if her 7 year old needs something for a two night sleep over or not??? :sick: I am just so sorry for FDH and FSD that BM is immature, unstable and selfish.

wriggsy's picture

If you have a video mode on your cell phone...use that. Or even bring a camcorder (if one is available). People tend to act differently when they know that there can be tangible evidence of their behavior. But beware, it can also incite bad behavior (Why are you videoing me? You have no right to do that, etc). Just a thought.

Rags's picture

SHE SPIT IN HIS FACE?????????????????? She would have been picking her teeth up off of the parking lot if she were my XW.

That is assault and knocking her teeth out would have been self defense.

Holy crap that just pisses me off and it did not even happen to me.

I would get there early and wait inside of the Police Station. Let the desk Sgt know what is going on and see if you can have an officer observe through an upstairs window. If she spits in your DHs face again the police will not hesitate to arrest her for assault. ...... teeth or no teeth.

Best regards,

Rags's picture

VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!! If she spits in his face, take the video straight in to the Police station and file assault charges. Hopefully she will hit him on video.

Then he can just beat the shit out of her legally.

Grrrr!!!!!!! This crap just pisses me off.

Good luck.