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I have not blogged in a while but read steptalk everyday...my Dad passed away this year

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

My Dad passed away this past February.  It has been a very rough year.  My two sisters and I have not been able to just grieve for our Dad as we have had to deal with my Dad's stepdaughters bull crap ineptitude as executor of the estate.  
 

The Will was not filed until July, she has not done hardly anything the estate attorney told her to do to get the property listed to sell. 
except to remove some items that were left to her, her sister and her brother in the mirror will of their mom who passed ten years ago.  
 

And the (step)brother has stolen my grandma's antique bed frame that was not left to him and was to go to my sister.  It has come down to me having to say I will be calling the sheriffs office Monday if it is not returned this weekend.  
 

They ransacked the house taking anything they wanted prior to giving keys to my sisters. And that was only after us contacting the estate attorney with a whole list of questions and grievances on how things are being handled and not done as instructed.  I live out of state and was only there for the funeral. The day of which we met at my Dad's house and they went through his safe and read the will.  I had no idea they were going to be doing this at that time.  
 

It has all been a complete nightmare dealing with these people...my Dad married their mom when I was finishing high school.  I have not had to deal with them all these years as I lived out of state.  Dad trusted that the OSD would handle everything....she has not and has lied at every turn.  
She denied knowing they took items out of house that shouldn't have been taken. She let us think the bed was donated. Promised to get it back...all the while knowing her brother took it.  Telling me he is being difficult and she would call the attorney to call him. Then telling me I could call him.  Yet it is her job as executor to see that everything is done properly and nothing is stolen. 
 

They said the day of the funeral the brother wanted to buy the property...house with 17 acres.  Then they ordered an appraisal that split the house from the land because he could not afford the whole property. And maybe they would want to buy a piece of it each. They did not tell me or my sisters about this appraisal. Now they are saying a cousin may buy more than half the portion of land and they will pay for the subdivision fees. Yet we do not agree to this and the lawyer said to get an appraisal on the whole property, list it with a realtor, have a yard or estate sale...this was back in June or July. Nothing done but more schemes to delay.  
 

Today I called the chancery clerk to ask a question.  Found out my Dads name was spelled wrong so did not show up in their system when I asked if it was filed.  The clerk found it and tells me there is only one more step to complete the probate process.  That is the order to sell step if the lawyer comes to court and says everything is being done and then this final step would close probate.  She said were we as beneficiaries notified...we have not received anything...not even calls back from the attorney to our concerns.  The clerk lady basically said we would have to get our own attorney to contest the will before probate closes.  
 

No one has answered our questions as to a search for our Dad's financial assets.  It is believed he had savings certificates somewhere. My sisters were not allowed in the house unsupervised until just last month after everything cleaned out practically.  The steps had access to the safe and personal papers prior to the funeral even.  We find it hard to believe that our Dad was living solely on his SS monthly check with no savings.  The man worked hard all his life. He sold his business and partially retired at age 50. He died at 83.  He lived frugally.  The steps routinely went to the casino with him...He only spent a certain amount, would likely win, have the buffet and go home.  He was alway doing stuff for them. It is so sad if he was truly destitute and they did not help him after all he did for them over the years.  His house was uninsured with a leaking roof upon his death.  
 

Sorry this is all over the place.  Point of the story is that the steps will screw you over in a heartbeat....every time.  Even steal grandmas bed.  
 

I don't know what to do...being out of state is hard, my sisters are frazzled by everything.  We just want the property to be sold at a fair market price and to be done with these people.  I have already been accused of just wanting the money by the YSD...she does not the land sold as a whole so no one will develope it...cause it has been in their family.  My dad bought it from their grandma and cared for it for 40 years, built a house from the old barn he gutted. Built outbuildings, farm plots, pasture land.  Let the idiot SS run donkeys, horses, cows on the pasture for free.  He continued to do so for 7 months after Dad died. 
 

Just so confused, pissed, discouraged.  The bed frame was the straw that sent me over the top today.  
 

I need to get my crap together and get a will so this does not repeat itself with my kids and DH's idiot three daughters.  He does see how this is affecting me. At least said today that for the will we need to do that we should appoint impartial attorney as executor.  Presently he has his OSD named...the will from before we married.  I do not have a current will.  But have my little savings set up in trust for my sons directly.  Mostly we just have the house together and his retired accounts that are set up with me as beneficiary.  
 

ok well if you made it this far...should my sisters and I hire a lawyer to contest/ stop probate from closing ) Dad's will and get the OSD booted from executor if possible? Wish John Grisham was estate attorney and would take the case. 
 

 

Comments

Talesofthe-twofoldmother's picture

Oh wow, first off I am very sorry for what you are going through. It sounds like one big crapstorm after another for you. 
If it was me going through it I would do what I could to fight for the land to be sold if I was able to and in that kind of position, just for the simple principle of not letting it go to a bunch of idiots like that! 

If you as a child can embrace the time that you had with him and be sentimental with memories etc.. then do that. 

Either way I wouldn't let it go just like that... 

What a bunch of morons I don't even see how they could get by with all that, seems like the legal system really is flawed and crooked everywhere. 

I am so sorry for what your going through.. 

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

It has been horrible, my sisters had more direct dealings since they live there. 
We don't plan to go down without a fight. 

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I would hire an attorney. At least consult one to get advice on how to handle things. This situation does not seem right. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all this in addition to the loss of your Dad.

Wilhelm's picture

Sorry to hear how it is going. Did the house and land get left equally to all children, steps and you and your sisters?

if your father regularly went to the casino I doubt he went home with much money. Casinos just don't work that way.

i would get at least 3 market appraisals to get a true price for the property.

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

Dads three daughters...his deceased wife's two daughters and son.  The step thieves.  
Dad was not a gambler, he did not throw away his life's savings at casinos.  
 

The stepsister thief executor was told to get appraisal on the property as a whole over three months ago.  

tog redux's picture

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

I'm the type that would just wash my hands of it and walk away, personally, rather than deal with the stress. I don't think that's wrong to do if it's what you need to do for yourself. Yes, what they are doing is wrong, but if it takes years off of your life to fight it, it wouldn't be worth it to me.

Wills are crucial.

Daisymazy2's picture

I had to deal with something very similar when my SF passed away.   My own brother was the one that was taking everything and not honoring the will.  I called the sheriff and was informed that there is nothing they can do because it is a civil matter.  My brother stole everything from the house and then the house mysteriously burns down a few months later.  I live out of state and couldn't prove that he took anything.  I couldn't even prove that he had anything to do with the fire.  The fire marshall said it was electrical and started from a computer.  My SF didn't have a computer in the home and I did tell the fire marshall that but it really wasn't too interested in my story. 

Just take care of yourself and do not let this stress you out.  It is easier said than done, I know.  

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

That your brother did this. It is so hard to have faith In Any people with stuff like this happening.  Thank you for your support!
 

somethingwicked's picture

You have my deepest condolences in the death of your father.

And the turmoil that the step thieves have wrought the past year is not conducive to fully grieving.

I hope you get this resolved,OP ,and soon.Get an attorney and sue the ever loving bejeezus out of the executor stepthief.

Her actions were illegal as she did not act in accordance with that designation. The lawyer ,too, needs to have  his license revoked IMHO as it appears he was not working on behalf of the family ..not ALL the family,that is.

And ,too, throw the book at the step thief who stole the antique bed.

Just awful what you have to deal with. Best of luck to you.

 

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

I will steal your term step thief.  
I hope we can find an attorney and set everything right.

Also found out today my Dad's gravestone has not been engraved with his date of death....nor is the veterans plaque there.  It has been eight months. Step thief bi#$&@h probably hasn't ordered them.  I am going to make some calls tomorrow.  
 

The lawyer has not notified us properly of anything or even called us back from numerous emails and calls.  My sister says she is going to his office tomorrow and demand to see him.  
 

Thank you for your support.